A Crap Guide to D&D [5th Edition] – Goblins
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KANEKUO
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BRACHYZOID
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“Better than Kobolds…”
Them’s fightin’ words, bud.
The closed captioning calls them coal balls
@Beardless Dwarf Clearly you just don’t know where to look.
@Beardless Dwarf – i require more example lol.
Well, you have literally _asked_ for it. Look up kobolds by Sefeiren.
@Stretop Overmind ah, a kind stranger with sources. this is what i wanted. if i wore a cap, i’d have tipped it to you.
@Beardless Dwarf You are welcome.
I’ve been a DM for over 20 years. And I have just one thing to say.
Goblins man! They are a staple for a goddamn reason! New DM’s! Don’t be ashamed to use them! Trust me on this one!
I’ve been a DM for 3 weeks, can confirm, as for a whole 4 hour session my group fought literally nothing but goblins and a single chance encounter with a giant boar.
Was told I’m the best DM they had, I think they just don’t want to DM themselves or appreciate me making funny voices.
A DM on Reddit said his party of untouchable paladins and super hidey rogues was destroying his encounters without even getting scratched. I told him to look up the myriad videos and posts on goblins using tactics. He responded later that one of his rogues was nearly pinged to death by slingshots and the party warlock got to save him and make a big deal of it 😀
Jo: Make them so Unexpectedly Attractive
Me: He’s gonna Show Brackyzoid’s art isnt he
2:38
Me: Yup
Long life INCASE
I was expecting Kanekuo’s, and was not disappointed. …=w= But how deeper this dungeon goes.
It would have been weird if he didn’t show kanekou’s, considering how he talked about him in the osp stream
@Rikuto Kun YouTube left the demonitization hammer in the robot’s hands. Probably best not to tempt fate.
“Jocat: WE got plushies! The First 100 sales get 15 percent off!” *Literally Sold out within 2 minutes of the video posted*
Got a plushie, just no discount. 5 dollar shipping to Europe though, so not going to complain
Can still get plushie, but code no longer works. XD
And to be fair 15% would have been like $3
@kelsmister I too ordered the goblin friend.
“Cannon fodder.”
*That’s a bold statement for someone in Booyahg distance.*
@Ginger McGingin bold of you to assume theirs not even one fighter bard
You do know that Goblins are literally ammo for Goblin Hucksters right?
@Joseph Hartline So a Goblin Huckster is a Goblin that hits a Goblin with another Goblin?
but what if…fluffernutter?
@Marshall Yeah, we’ve all seen how that turned out.
“Now that’s the general idea of what goblins are supposed to be in the forgotten realms but this is DnD which means everybody breaks the rules more than an episode of Yugioh”. That line is gold.
Fury of the small?
MORE LIKE FURY OF THE BALL
I get that reference
Alex Omega no one shall underestimate the ball
Beware…the ball.
I love him.
eyyyyyyyyyyyy
So bit of a story, The first time i ever DMed i started the players off in a town that had recently been attacked by a goblin army. But luckily the town defeated them. But now the surrounding forest is filled with goblins and the town had put a bounty for every goblin slain.
So the party is doing a hunting quest for the town to collect wild boar and after they killed a few and were heading back to town this girl who was playing for the first time decides that this is to boring and her character goes wondering off into the woods, at twilight, without a torch, all alone.
I rolled encounter, GOBLINS. five of them and it’s now night.
She got her ass kicked so bad because she was one of the races that doesn’t have dark vision so she couldn’t see or hit them. But luckily the party finds her before she dies.
Her:”WTF why did you do that to me?”
My vet friend: “He told us there were goblins in the forest and that the town had a bounty on them. And you ran off by yourself at night.”
*Goblin slayer* : a rookie mistake
Common Sense: not just for real life!
Fun fact: there is a playable variant of goblin called the dankwood goblin that is only found in adventures with muk(to my knowledge at least)
Its a smarter druidic-ish goblin.
(snrk) dank…
Funner fact: Adventures With Muk is currently pay-what-you-want AND Wizards has been giving away free modules all week. Go get your free dank goblins and other stuff!
JoCat has awakened true power of Youtube: Selling Merch
they look so cute, though
Me: I dont need it, its just a plushie
Brain: hehe fluffy buy now
And that is story of how I have already ordered one. As soon as he mentioned it.
Tiny mumkey brain want soft squishy thing.
Me: moneys?
Wallet: lol nope
Me: 🙁
“Superior to kobolds in every way”
You realize you just turned every fan of Zito on you, right? Lol
Yes he insults Tarrasque of Ironoath, the red ball of anger is on his way to beat his ass as we speak
This battle will be one of legend, the red ball of anger versus the might of the sword and shield.
Who s Zito
?
Lord Meepo also demands a JoCat head
zito blocked me despite my never interacting with him. fuck him
Ah the sexy goblin.
AKA: Your “Shortstacks” awakening.
Another source of awakenings is Imp Midna from Twilight Princess.
But wait waht about the sexy ones 😈
I have no idea what a shortstack is in this context and now I’m stuck in this limbo where I’m both afraid to Google it AND YET I REALLY MUST.
I need some explanations good sir
@Apocryph Gaming A shortstack refers to a short woman, about 5 ft. Or less to give an example, whos also very curvaceous. They are mostly bottom heavy when it comes to assets, but they are often also equally as busty as well.
To give an example, Midna from Twilight princess is often the first character many people call a shortstack.
@Apocryph Gaming If you’re afraid, don’t be. It’s just short girls with curvy figures. Usually monster girls, but not always.
Final scene is silly. We all know the instant jocat senses danger he casts fireball. There would be no goblins left to dogpile him.
But what if the goblins can fireball back?
*BOOYAGH
“And being superior to kobolds in every way.”
*Zito will remember that*
No joke about how DnD goblins look nothing like how people depict them? Everyone draws them as cute little green fellas (because that’s the best design), but official DnD art has them as freaky little yellow people who are too muscular for being so weak.
Anyway, small green goblins are the best goblins.
As a DM the way I portray goblins is a mix of all three, civilised goblins have a mixture between adorable and attractive and wild goblins are akin to moria orcs from lotr. The theory is that civilised goblins changed over time like humans and dogs for example being more attractive and easier on the eyes, wild goblins are like if we looked at cavemen today where they bred on the basis of strength, ruthlessness and sheer brutality to reach adulthood and to find a partner.
Pathfinder goblin art is seriously messed up. they look like a cross between Zippy and a shark
I feel like the public consensus is that DnD books are wrong if they claim goblins aren’t cute li’l greenbeans, just like they’re wrong if they claim Dragonborn don’t have tails.
@CulixIII they actually made a sub race for the dragon born that has a tail lol
@RELAXINGINWONDERLAND Ha, this is worth learning, so thanks! Glad they eventually took a step to correct their mistake. 😉
The fact there is more room on that shelf should bring us hope in these dark times.
“… and being overall superior to kobolds in every way!”
Well, kobolds can always call their *dragon* . Who your goblins are going to call?
Also,
Little tinkering multicoloured reptiles > Little barbaric green hairless apes
every day of the week.
I’m waiting for the Kobold video where he says they’re better than goblins in every way just to be contradictory. Because meta-humor.
“and generally better than kobolds in every way”
Boy, them’s fightin’ words.
*Immediately insulted that Kobolds are declared inferior then Goblins, when clearly Kobolds are sub-master race, just behind dragons.*