A Crap Guide to Final Fantasy XIV – Melee DPS

A Crap Guide to Final Fantasy XIV – Melee DPS

catch hands gently like hamburger

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From the northern snow front of Ilsabard
The land was cold and the people scarred
They sought the void with a daring ace
And empowered themselves with a devious pact
You do the SPOOKY SLICE
Now your swings have some spice
It’s just your soul that’s the price
You do the SPOOKY SLICE

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42 Responses

  1. Stephen Flint says:

    Your commitment to alliterations is to be commended Jocat.

  2. ChillsAhoy says:

    I know they’re “Crap guides” but they genuinely do have some good info, and they’re hilariously entertaining.

  3. Xol Wora says:

    “Don’t lie I know the majority of my audience has depression”
    This absolutely killed me lol!

  4. Kezahe says:

    As a reaper main I will now have this song stuck on my head everytime I’m fighting

    I love it

  5. SonOfMyths73 says:

    Hint for Monks: You can still Meditate when your enemies are out of reach, which lets you get your Free Damage Button back, so it’s worth doing for a bigger burst when you reengage

  6. Brent Revello says:

    This whole video was just so JoCat can show us his samurai duel animation and sing his spooky song in the same video.

  7. Wacky Xmand says:

    It feels like Jocat knows that people will be watching this on stream so he’s going to embarrass them by doing the silliest things.

  8. Hardcover says:

    You do realize now we need a full version of “Spooky Slice.”

  9. Pentharis says:

    “Don’t lie, I know most of my audience has depression.” I’m literally watching this the day you released it, and the past two days have been in my annual ‘Tear apart the room and put it together again’ phase. You didn’t have to call me out so specifically LOL. But t was 100% correct. A++! Love the content!

  10. Iaxacs says:

    Tip for Dragoons: Though it is rare always look underneath where the boss likes to hangout. Are they floating above nothing? Yes? Don’t use moves that involving jumping the boss. You’ll be enjoying an impromptu skydiving session without a parachute. If you would like an example, the Ozma fight from the Weeping City of Mhach is probably the best example.

    • Comet Star says:

      False, unless you’re jumping at ozma from one of the connecting walkways. All bosses with empty space under them have a large enough hitbox to prevent gap closers from throwing a player off the edge.

    • coffeeavenger says:

      @Lorkanthal RDM is bascially “DRG only much more stylish as we backflip to our deaths.”

    • Katotsu says:

      @InFluxCapacitor It depends on where the edge of the boss’s circle is. Ozma is touching the lines that denote where the groups should stand, but not the ring connecting them. If you jump from the ring and aren’t on the line you die. Suzaku is bigger than the donut hole, but if the tank drags her off and you jump from the opposite side, there’s suddenly a gap that shouldn’t be there, and you fall. The important take away is WATCH WHERE THE BOSS IS BEFORE YOU JUMP.

    • Margaret Williams says:

      …..I’ve actually done that once. Not fun.

    • talon sherrieb says:

      @Danilo Oliveira yup. Noticeable contrast to the thunder god which is targetable everywhere. That won’t kill you

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