Defunctland: The Bizarre Garfield Dark Ride

Defunctland: The Bizarre Garfield Dark Ride

In this minisode, Kevin dives deep into the history of Kennywood’s Old Mill and the infamous Garfield overlay, Garfield’s Nightmare.

History Sources:
David Hahner Jr. –
Brian Butko –
Boaz Frankel –

Video Sources:
Historic Pittsburgh –
David Hahner –
Blacklight Attractions –
XscreamThrills –
RampagingRex Productions –
TheCoasterMan –
WackyWeazle –
Leonard Kinsey / The Dark Side of Disney –
TomWasHere –
Dark Ride Archive –
The Coaster Spot –
Television Archives –
Amusement Now –

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45 Responses

  1. BrentTV says:

    As someone who rode this every year, it was an awful ride lol. Not well maintained, boring, and just not a fun ride lol

    • Benjamin McClelland says:

      @Sage hewson its Kennywood dog. If your not from Pittsburgh you just don’t get it.

    • LupusIntus says:

      Brent, you’re supposed to bring someone on the ride with you!

    • SykosymatiK says:

      @Fawksthephoenix1 Tbh, the art –is– was really cool.

    • Fawksthephoenix1 says:

      As someone who rode this ride every year…I hate to admit that I liked this ride 🙁

    • Wickedincarnate says:

      @CheerupButtercup I’ll never forget my disappoint when after not having gone for years to find the Olde Mille had changed. It just didn’t feel the same for the rest of the day.

      I suppose thats just getting older but man what an unnecessary change.

  2. Smokerwolf says:

    Loved this video more than Garfield loves Lasagna, remarkably funny with an emotional twist at the end, keep up the good work Mr Perjurer, love this channel!

    • A Fine Egg says:

      “Loved this video more than Garfield loves Lasagna”? Not possible, heretic, nothing is more powerful than the bond between the orange cat and his Italian foodstuffs

    • Manuel Cortés says:

      Smokerwolf?! Qué haces aquí?!

  3. clayzulah says:

    As a Pittsburgh native I can confirm you knocked this out of the park – really appreciate the curiosity and diligence you bring to covering parks outside of the typical Disney/Universal wheelhouse.
    …also I’m not going to get greedy, but Noah’s Ark is another Kennywood attraction with a very long and bizarre history (it’s an ~85 year old religious funhouse that, for a number of years, started by dropping you in a skeleton-strewn mineshaft)

    • Brianna Pail says:

      Omg someone mentioned the end room with the flooding walls and the siren and now I’m having flashbacks to crying as a kid after exiting the walk through. Looking back though… those effects were legitimately cool and scary.

    • Riley Sansoucy says:

      Holy shit he needs to cover this

    • Baby D says:

      I grew up & still live in Pittsburgh so a lot of Kennywood lore is just common for me. Now thinking of it, the ark definitely had a few weird re-designs over the years.

    • Mazie says:

      it WHAT

    • CheerupButtercup says:

      Noah’s ark had no right to be that terrifying

  4. ILoveKimPossibleAlot says:

    I want to know Garfield’s dark secrets

  5. christ6345 says:

    As someone who grew up going to Kennywood as a kid, the sentence “my downstairs got as slippery as the log jammer”, has absolutely wreck my childhood

  6. NateIsLame says:

    “In this minisode…”
    *30+ minutes long*

  7. Joey Foster says:

    My siblings and I went on the Garfield ride so many times when we were children, completely unaware of the reputation it had among adults.
    Needless to say, hearing about it’s history has simultaneously ruined and enhanced my childhood.

  8. Samantha Crawford says:

    Wildly enough, this sent me on a goose chase of my own when you did not mention that Silverwood in Idaho also gained Garfield as a mascot in 2001. Thinking that maybe I slipped dimensions, I checked their wiki to find that they also ended up de-Garfieldifying in 2021, probably for the exact same viacom stipulations.

    • DerCouch says:

      Now that you mention it, I remember the garfield theming too! rip in rest mister field

    • LesYeuxSansVisage says:

      F*ucking Silverwood. I almost died on one of their rides. I kept screaming that the locking mechanism hadn’t worked, but the operator just shrugged and left. She literally left the ride alone to smoke. I ended up breaking my hand jamming it shut, right before we went upside down. The spin cycle is what I think it’s called? The manager didn’t give a shit when I tried to tell them, and ask for help with my hand. Ended up in the ER to fix my hand, and haven’t gone back in 5 years. I’d seriously be careful on some of their rides.

    • Skyblade 743 says:

      “We’ve always been at war with Eurasia”-Viacom, probably.

  9. god eater says:

    Kevin, genuinely don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard at a Defunctland episode. This was delightful.

  10. Jedi Guy says:

    That pause on the Garfield urinals – juuuuuust long enough for it to sink in that, yes, men were meant to piss in Garfield’s mouth, is one of the many reasons I love this channel.

    Right up there with “…already California-themed California.” I’ll never forget that winner.

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