Everything Wrong With Bright In 15 Minutes Or Less

Everything Wrong With Bright In 15 Minutes Or Less

An awful lot of people have watched Netflix’s new original movie, Bright. And it seems to be pretty divisive. So we figured… why not put on the sin goggles and check it out? That was, sadly, a mistake we’d live to regret.

Thursday: Sins that aren’t so bright.

Remember, no movie is without sin! Which movie’s sins should we expose next?!

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69 Responses

  1. tyler innes says:

    This movie is not as bad as people say

  2. timnemasd says:

    Oh my god, I saw the Dragon when I first watched the movie. WHY DO THEY TEASE US WITH A DRAGON!

  3. Jaeus A says:

    So… are we going to get Death Note as well?

  4. SnifferSock says:

    The mashups at the end are the best part

  5. For Progress says:

    “Once he looks up his ass he’ll know you weren’t telling the truth, and where are we then, man? Where are we then?” ???

  6. Lieutenant_Dan27 LT.D says:

    The upright walking lizard people are in positions of power on this planet…….don’t you even YouTube?

  7. Albus Dumbledore says:

    I actually didnt mind the movie, I just wish it would be a tv series. the world seems awesome and I like the idea of different magic/mythical figures. also there are some plot holes which could be explained further and better.

    • Lumibear says:

      stapuft – Well the problem nowadays is unless it’s got a big red arrow and a red circle around it people will just miss the important plot points entirely.

    • Mr. Mammuthus Africanavus says:

      Totally should’ve been a TV show

    • Tiger474 says:

      stapuft Unfortunately that is not how it works. The existence of magic doesn’t excuse plot holes, it makes more. If the answer to “why doesn’t the dragon try to destory the city” is “well it’s just magic” then the movie shouldn’t exist at all. “Why don’t evil elves try to summon the dark lord to destory the world?” “Well it’s just magic”. And there goes the movie. And thats what makes high fantasy like LOTR and Game of Thrones so good. They take the time to create everything with extreme detail as to avoid those kinds of problems. This movie was lazy, it wanted the world of a high fantasy fiction without doing any of the work.

  8. Gyst says:

    I wish this movie was good…I really do.

  9. sora thewolfmaster says:

    When i saw the trailer I thought it was a show

  10. meikoblock says:

    Whoa I never noticed that centaur cop! How are they okay with the centaur but not the orc?

    • FireIdar says:

      Also through all the fantasy books I read, Orcs are portrayed as dumb, violent and in a lot of cases evil, or at least stupid enough to get tricked into joining or fighting for the bad guy.

    • Shroom King says:

      Top half’s a human technically!

    • namekman01 says:

      bigger penis = more love

    • Andrew Williams says:

      namekman01 Haha. Yep, I agree with ‘centaur sex’. I think the ladies would be on board.

    • Chromodar says:

      That’s the thing right? Probably not a lot of human males would be into centaur women (though certainly a few here and there), while centaur dudes would have an easy time picking up human women. Human males are quite likely to dislike the competition. How do they stand a chance against someone who’s literally hung like a horse? So yeah, I think there would be a lot of racial resentment there.
      People vote for racist political parties because they’re scared of foreigners taking their jobs. What do you think they would do if horsemen were taking their women?

  11. BriSirnicky says:

    Maybe the best one ever….I liked the movie a ton, but it was seriously flawed. I just don’t get how they didn’t throw a sin on for the eleven girl finally speaking being able to speak English when it becomes convenient for an exposition spill.

  12. Jérôme Dutil-Martin says:

    I would love to see an EWW of “The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy” (2005)

  13. SugarKiss says:

    This would cool for a tv show. I imagine fox running it and then canceling it

  14. Rift Vallance says:

    This campaign would have been better if they had used 3.5

  15. The Prince of His Own Kingdom says:

    This movie actively avoids its own potentials.

  16. P Y R O T E C H N I C K く苛流 says:

    WAIT…..that’s NOT John Goodman???

  17. Steve McCord says:

    The problem with Bright is that it suggests that in the event that orcs and elves and magic exists then society and culture would evolve (or devolve, as is the case with “street” or hip hop culture) exactly as it did in real life. It’s way too up its own ass with what it calls “social commentary” to such a degree that the plot itself plays second fiddle to said “social commentary.”

    • Dan Porteous says:

      You’re overthinking it. Sure, these things wouldn’t make sense in the context of our own universe and our history, but Bright isn’t exactly set in our universe. It mimics it, but ultimately it’s completely made up, including how things came to be. So it doesn’t matter.

      And yeah, the social commentary was kinda blunt and on the nose, but for me it didn’t distract enough to make the movie unenjoyable. I was entertained enough.

    • deadpool The joker says:

      I feel like you just attacked Hiphop for no reason. How does hip hop music devolve society?

    • Rew T says:

      Okay, lets imagine the world evolved in such a way. Well, certain things would need to be different. Such as who invents what and why its invented. If we have magic, shouldn’t humans be able to use it commonly. Same with elves, it needs to be seen more. The humans need some way to enforce the law with more than guns in a world of magic. And, there needs to be more information on why there is a city. The references were just bad; and I don’t mean they weren’t funny, it just doesn’t make sense to use them in a world where we more than likely wouldn’t have created them. The best comparison for this movie is the game that has you battling Nazis. The world is different, and shows and movies in that world are also different.

  18. Uriah Siner says:

    I kinda hate that I didn’t hate this movie lol

  19. Splat says:

    Ladies and gentlemen: I give you How Not to Worldbuild: The Movie.

  20. Your Friendly Neighborhood Bitch, Karen says:


    Now I have
    “Duck ? Tales Wooo-oo”
    Running ? through my head
    Over & over again!

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