Everything Wrong With The Great Wall In 20 Minutes Or Less

Everything Wrong With The Great Wall In 20 Minutes Or Less

So China paid Matt Damon gazillions of dollars to appear in a big-budget sh*t-fest film involving the Great Wall and mystical creatures… and is ANYONE surprised that movie ended up being crappy?! I’m not. You’re not.

Let’s run down its sins, shall we?

Thursday: Sins of an animated monstrosity.

Remember, no movie is without sin! Which movie’s sins should we expose next?!

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19 Responses

  1. Mathew Hasty says:

    I like how both long intro logos and short intro logos count as sins.

  2. Daniel Iamandi says:

    *Oh,Mister White-man,please help us defeat our enemies*

  3. Daianna Huang says:

    trust me, there were more chinese going to see the actors than the actual movie, so nobody really cared about plot.

  4. Octodyo says:

    they spent so much money on Lu Han just to attract viewers lol.

  5. e wilks says:

    I wonder how many EXO-Ls went to see this movie solely because Luhan was in it. Honestly, probably the same amount that went to see Valerian because of Kris. Can’t judge too hard though, because that was definitely the only reason I saw either of those movies

  6. Shane Doherty says:

    9:25 Shitty pants.

  7. MeadX26 says:

    Well to be fair The Last Samurai is at least based on a true story.

  8. large dog says:

    everything wrong with the great wall:

    the protagonist is a fucking american in a completely asian setting

  9. ThePersonThat NeverWas says:

    When you do The Emoji Movie, just add 50 sins in the beginning

  10. Hota Watcher says:

    Wait, story by Max Brooks? The writer of book World War Z? And this movie ripped off the movie World War Z? What is happening?

  11. WrathOf Grimm says:

    White guys saving another asian culture movies are made to let us forget that it where the whites who treated the asians like shit and forcing them to make railroads. Oh look a white guy he is here to help, movie made by white guys thinking by themself we are always right and the good guys.

  12. smilzforme says:

    the whitewashing of history continues

  13. TheGoldenDunsparce says:

    The last sin touches my soul so deeply. I’m so sick of the “white guy shows up and saves the helpless Asians” cliche so fucking much. Just from seeing the movie poster, you already know the “twist”.

  14. Maryland says:

    Get down to
    To defeat the Huns

  15. MasterKcoop says:

    this movie should be called *”two white guys that are depicted as gods insert themselves in Hollywood’s version of Chinese culture… featuring badly designed monsters”*. what, too wordy?

  16. Ryans Wrestling says:

    Am I the only one who actually liked this movie?😂

  17. InfiniteSkills says:

    That’s one sin for you! Willam Defoe was in Spider-Man 1 not 2!

  18. Loopy Kick says:

    Let this be a lesson to movie makers. Script is important also. People are wondering why their movie didn’t do as well as they thought. It would most likely do better if they put as much effort/money on the script as they do on the actors and the effects. (-.-)

  19. Delightful Addition says:

    This looks like some generic creature horde movie mixed with a failed version of Game of Thrones mixed with Pacific Rim and Attack on Titan.

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