Fifty Shades Darker – Movie Review

Fifty Shades Darker – Movie Review


Chris Stuckmann
P.O. Box 1028
Cuyahoga Falls, OH 44223

Chris Stuckmann reviews Fifty Shades Darker, starring Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Hugh Dancy, Eric Johnson, Jennifer Ehle, Luke Grimes, Rita Ora, Victor Rusak, Eloise Mumford, Max Martini. Directed by James Foley.

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20 Responses

  1. Campbell Kane says:

    Does anybody ever just rub their head violently against a piece of paper
    and pretend they’re an eraser

  2. Michael Garcia says:

    unoriginal joke(originally made by Unkeptmoss328):I saw this film on a
    plane and people still walked out.

  3. Lew Archer 1949 says:

    “Anastasia Steele”. Still makes me laugh when I hear it. Is there a more
    obvious bullshit fanfic name than that?

  4. nuno line says:

    freakin garbage waste of time and money.. samurai cop is more entertaining

  5. Breaking Banter says:

    The Cat In The Hat Movie was sexier than this.

  6. Dylan W says:

    Don’t worry, Chris. There’s only one more of these to go.

  7. Tommy Carr says:

    Should have called it Fifty Shades of Grey: The Second Cumming

  8. Timliu92 says:

    To be honest Chris, you can hire the likes of Damien Chazelle to direct
    this film, and it will still turn out to be terrible. The premise of the
    Fifty Shades series itself was already awful.

  9. Daria Morgendorffer says:

    Common man!!! Let’s be fair. Not every little girl get’s off on these
    movies. 🙂 By the way, her books and the movies are basic textbooks for
    “how to be in an abusive relationship”. Basically, a professor at Michigan
    wrote: “He controls her behaviors, her food intake, and dictates who she is
    allowed to spend her time with, isolating her from friends and family. He
    belittles her, threatens her and blames her.” So there is nothing sexy or
    attractive about this relationship!!!

  10. Browncheeze says:

    Go watch lego Batman. Go watch John wick 2. Dont support this movie

  11. The Observant ServantTM says:

    These days females say they love to be “bossy” and “independent” and sassy

    but will pay money to see this movie

  12. Yamin Thein says:

    This sort of shitty ass movie set female intelligence back to the fucking
    stone age!

  13. controversial opinions says:

    The fact that they even made the first film after the fuck-headed bullshit
    of the fucking book alone is an atrocity against humanity. For the
    producers and studio to make a sequel despite the abomination of the first
    film based on the shit of the same retarded books is a FUCKING WAR CRIME. I
    hope to God that this film bombs harder at the fucking box office than
    “Cut-Throat Island” and the film fails to make even a 1000 dollars in
    revenue. I hope those responsible for this thing they call a film to not
    only be fired but blacklisted from ever making a film with a budget of over
    2 million dollars ever again. I swear to GOD, if a shooting takes place at
    the showing of this film, I would petition for the shooter to get a metal
    of honor, because any middle aged kinky-bitch-fuck-twilight loving-whore
    that actually goes to support this film and give it money to breed another
    abomination like this does not deserve to be on this planet with the rest
    of us sane humans.

  14. BIG BOSS says:

    Holy shit. They actually made another one of these. But why? Seriously even
    twilight is better than this. Well on second thought maybe not! Why am I
    even comparing them. Fuck this Shit

  15. Zane Truesdale says:

    I get turned on the way you say “get Stuckmanized” it’s so hot and I’m a
    guy. No homo though.

  16. Ian Grossman says:

    Apparently on the Fifty Shades Darker Facebook page, one person who liked
    this said they anticipate this movie as much as The Last Jedi. What has
    humanity come to.

  17. Raegan Smith says:

    I would have liked to hear his wife’s opinion.

  18. LovePatchSour says:

    *Box office preview: ‘LEGO Batman to dominate ’50 Shades Darker’*

    This is some quality stuff for 2017.

  19. Callum Russell says:

    There was a better sex scene in “team America, world police”

  20. FoxyWhite says:

    I’ve read better sex scenes written by teenagers. TEENAGERS.

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