If Juice Cleanse Ads Were Honest (Detox, Master Cleanse)

If Juice Cleanse Ads Were Honest (Detox, Master Cleanse)

Feeling bloated and need to detox? Well, drinking salad in liquid form will absolutely not help you at all, but boy will you feel Hashtag-virtuous when you share pictures of yourself with our beautiful juice cleanse bottles all across social media. Enjoy the rejuvenating experience of borderline starvation!

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25 Responses

  1. Monsieur Z says:

    While detox is bunk, you’ve made some errors yourself in this video.

    • Pécou Dracp says:

      Wyand back it up with facts please

    • Wyand says:

      Just listen to the words. So, he starts off claiming that my body will burn muscle to conserve energy storages, that were created to provide energy when there’s a shortage of it. Seems my body doesn’t really get what storage is for. When you have some financial savings to help you through emergencies and such an emergency comes up, you go and prostitute yourself, so you can protect your savings that you created for that exact reason? Next up, he tells me, that my body will burn muscle instead of using fat. But somehow, all the weight that I lose during the muscle burn will be water weight and once I have a solid meal, I will just get it back? So.. eating a meal will make me grow back muscle that somehow was water anyway? Ah, and finally the good old fairy tale of permanently lowering my metabolism. Guess we found a way to solve world hunger. Just lower everybodies metabolism and have them need less food.

      None of this bullshit checks out. Starvation mode is bullshit, but luckily the video just contradicts itself enough to kinda display that right away.

    • Drosta Dorianin says:

      I take it you get the bulk of your information from fitness magazines selling snake oil to fools.

    • Pécou Dracp says:

      Wyand you make interesting points, but I was hoping for more cold hard facts, but I’ll look then up on my own anyway. But thank you for taking the time, and for voicing you’re comment.

    • Chris Petty says:

      Seriously starvation mode is bullshit. Why would your body eat the muscle and store the fat? That’s the whole purpose of fat. To be stored until it needs to be used when your body doesn’t get enough calories.

  2. MegaChickenPunch says:

    Want a real detox? Stop eating toxins and your body will do the rest… for free!

  3. Noah Partic says:

    This is Adam Ruins Everything as a senior citizen.

  4. TheRealTrikein says:

    Now do one on athletic magnet bands. Some athletes are just so damn stupid.

  5. Wyand says:

    So, “starvation mode” will make my body conserve energy stores to fight a shortage of energy. Seems it has to learn what the idea behind storage is. I will burn muscle, but the weight I lose is somehow water weight and once I eat a real meal, I will gain it all back, which means my muscle will grow back from a meal?
    Also, permanently lowering my caloric needs? That sounds like a way to solve world hunger. Just hand everyone a bunch of those juices and then we need less food overall?

    Nice shot at detox bullshit, sadly you went to bullshit mode in the second half of the video 🙁

  6. Román Cordera says:

    That shit only works for coktails

  7. Lerone Q says:

    This is inspiring I need a money of my own.

  8. MiniMackeroni says:

    2017 Oregon Trail: You have died of Liquid Salad.

  9. Pensive Scarlet says:

    This would be funnier if you just randomly had Cody burst in to rant about how “juice cleanse” products are only bad for you when they’re on the other side of his personal partisan line. Maybe have Adam show up and ruin the Cracked “If [Things] Were Honest” series by showing us how there are so many better versions of this joke from much more talented comedians. I mean, don’t get me wrong, “naturally charismatic old man saying things he’d never say if he weren’t earning an actor’s paycheck” was funny once, and all, but now you’re just resting on his withered laurels, guys.

  10. rsmorex says:

    If Juice Cleanse Ads Were Honest
    “your skin is used by your body to detox you”
    ok… so not that honest…

  11. Pan Darius Kairos says:

    Just eat lots of fruits/veggies and avoid junk food.

  12. ziasyn says:

    Is it odd that I got a detox commercial just before this video

  13. Maarek Steele says:

    This is one of the best ones in a long time. hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  14. chill mccool says:

    lol crazy how you get vitamins from actual food

  15. Dark2W says:

    *now stop being a baby and suck it up, awww that a girl get them likes* Alright then…

  16. Vance Corsey says:

    Didn’t Adam already ruin this?

  17. Levord1980 says:

    I know it works. As far as cleaning of the system and organs. And since you’re juicing you are to constantly keep yourself hydrated with alkaline water to combat dehydration.

  18. Sharp-Dressed Gaming says:

    There was an ad for toxins cleansing juices on this video

  19. Count Sacula says:

    I drink liquid barley and hops all the time.

  20. White Man says:

    Funny vid, I know many people who do such crap or have tried such crap & made them worse than before, Lets face it “fades don’t work”, you need to have a diet of real whole foods not so called “prepackaged whole foods”, good health is no secret it’s just common sense and having the intestinal fortitude to want to be healthy/Organic Whole grains Fresh fruits veggies beans seeds nuts grains you can’t go wrong, today I slow cooked a pot of Red Kidney Beans with carrots onions & butternut squash it was great, eat the rest tomorrow. Real Food has it’s own flavor without the chemical bullshit FDA allows for campaign dollars into the pockets of those who gave them their cushy high paying gov jobs

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