I’m A Tomboy, And No One Wants To Date Me
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This is Jo. Actually, her name is Josephine, but you wouldn’t be able to imagine a person less suitable to be called Josephine. She’s a tomboy, and she’s proud of it. However, life as a tomboy is not as amusing as you might imagine. She’s faced a lot of problems, and she wants to tell you about them.
Jo had trouble communicating with other girls right from her early childhood. She remembers one time when a large group of children had gathered in one place for a party or something, and her mom gently pushed her towards the other girls and said, “go play with the dolls, make friends with someone!” She diligently started moving dolls here and there and listening to boring talk about girly problems, but all the while she kept looking at the boys, who were playing something thrilling, laughing and doing their boyish stuff. She was so envious that at some point she just silently stood up and joined them. That was the moment when the fun started for her.
Things didn’t improve as the years went by. Jo was always attracted to the world of boys, and all of her friends were boys as well. She felt at ease when she talked to them, and felt that she understood their problems and their way of thinking better. Whereas when she was around girls, she was totally clueless. Their problems were hard for her to follow, especially when they complained about boys.
Jo had to adapt her looks to her lifestyle as well. When she went out with her friends, they always did something active, like skateboarding or exploring abandoned buildings or climbing trees. For these kinds of things, you need to dress in a practical way. She found out that jeans and hoodies are much more comfortable in this respect than typical girls’ clothes, which she had always hated in any case. And that is how she has dressed her whole life. For Jo, it was always a tragedy when they made some formal visit and she needed to dress “properly”, as people would call it. A cute dress, shiny shoes, a neat hairdo… ugh. As you can probably imagine, phrases like “wear skirts, be more feminine, you’re a girl” were the things she kept hearing time and again, until at one point her parents just gave up.
It wasn’t that Jo felt she was ugly or anything, and that being a tomboy was her way of gaining confidence. She actually thinks she’s quite cute, and when she’s forced to be a girly girl she looks no worse than her peers. For her, being a tomboy is a lifestyle, and she’s happy with that. The problem was that some time ago, she’d noticed that her friends had started dating.
One of the things that people were often mistaken about was the belief that because Jo was a tomboy, she must be gay. But she’s actually attracted to boys, not girls. Ironically, she actually gets a lot of backtalking from girls who say that she’s just trying to get attention from all the boys around her. She’s never taken this seriously, because she’s never had THAT kind of attention from the boys. Which is actually the core of her problem.
Yes, she’s seeking her first romance. She has lots of boys around her. So what’s the problem, you might ask. The problem is that they don’t really see her as a girl! They know she’s a girl, of course, but they don’t want to date her, because who would date a bro? Once, there was a boy she liked, and she thought it would be wise to approach him and ask if he wanted to go out with her. And guess what – he just laughed at her! He wasn’t mean or anything, it was more something like “Sorry bro, I don’t see you as a GIRL”. Seeing the look on her face, he corrected himself: “I mean, THAT kind of a girl”. Oh thanks, now that’s much better!
This was the first time when being a tomboy had a negative effect on her life. She even tried to put on make up and a dress, but felt really weird and the boys just looked at her strange as well. She gave up and lost hope. It seemed like it was a price that she had to pay to keep the comfortable and amusing life of a tomboy. She became a bit melancholic looking at all those happy couples, and felt that something was missing from her life for the first time.
One day she was invited out to go skateboarding, but she wasn’t in the mood so she just sat there, watching her friends and thinking her sad thoughts. One of her oldest friends soon came over to sit with her and asked why she was so sad. She didn’t want to lie, so she explained everything as it really was – that no one wanted to date her because no one considered her a potential girlfriend. “Don’t cry”, he said, “I’ll go on a date with you!” She refused out self-respect. “I don’t need charity”, she said. Suddenly, he became very serious and said that he really wanted to. And so she accepted. Accidentally, she had made the same mistake all her friends had made with her – she hadn’t considered his feelings, because you don’t go on dates with buddies. Well, she was mistaken.
Music by Epidemic Sound: https://www.epidemicsound.com