It’s Finally Time to Cut Off that Weiner

It’s Finally Time to Cut Off that Weiner

Stephen would like to thank Anthony Weiner for rising to the occasion and providing this truly rock-solid story.

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Stephen Colbert took over as host of The Late Show on Tuesday, Sept. 8, 2015. Colbert is best known for his work as a television host, writer, actor, and producer, and best known for his charity work teaching English as a second language on Tunisian date farms. Prior to joining the CBS family — and being officially adopted by network president Les Moonves — Colbert helmed “The Colbert Report,” which aired nearly 1,500 episodes and required Stephen to wear nearly 1,500 different neckties. The program received two Peabody Awards, two Grammy Awards, and several unwelcome shoulder massages. It won two Emmys for Outstanding Variety Series in 2013 and 2014, both of which appear to have been lost in the move. Colbert is pronounced koʊlˈbɛər, according to Wikipedia. His understudy is William Cavanaugh, who will be hosting The Late Show approximately one third of the time. Good luck, Bill!”

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19 Responses

  1. KingOfMadCows says:

    I have to hand it to Anthony Weiner. He is a very cocksure guy.
    Unfortunately, he doesn’t have a lick of sense. He really needs to think
    long and hard about his next move. If he plans on continuing his political
    career, he’ll be facing some very stiff competition and his approval
    ratings have been flaccid for years. If he wants to pump up his numbers,
    he’ll have to thrust himself into a big apology tour.

  2. Philmon Mekonen says:

    Who’s watching this video without socks?

  3. fidorover says:

    “Sadly, Anthony’s last name negatively influenced his actions in life.
    If only his surname had been something like — oh, I dunno —
    — *Huma Abedin*

  4. bailey harper says:

    If they make movies on presidents first dates they could have a trilogy
    with Donald trump

  5. gnuibrunst says:

    can someone explain the “abraham lincoln’s beard” joke?

  6. Shiro Amakusa says:


  7. InMaTeofDeath says:

    I guess Mr Weiner is in favor of dicks out for Harambe.

  8. dothedeed says:

    There’s a video of Weiner campaigning in a Jewish neighborhood after the
    1st scandal. He’s doing the usual handshaking and baby kissing but then
    this one guy starts heckling him. Does Weiner’s head fall? Does he get
    deterred – nope. He confronts the guy and shakes some more hands. I watch
    that video now and again for inspiration. Life lesson -having shame like
    normal people can only work against you. Do you really believe he wont run
    for office again? Do you really believe he won’t re-marry and have more
    kids? Of course he’ll be ok precisely because he has no shame and doesn’t
    care what any of us thinks. Now go and use this your own lives.

  9. Ashcool says:

    Trump’s movie title would be named “My powerpuff girls.” because he has
    three wives.

  10. Joey Tirado says:

    Anthony wiener is literally a character in a sit com. How is this man

  11. M15949 says:

    He can’t get hard unless he’s destroying his family.

  12. MegaFunnymonkey123 says:

    Colbert was spitting fire with those presidential first dates

  13. Super Smash Dolls says:

    Fool me three times, you’re officially that guy.

  14. helpAHHHH says:

    Sitting down for a song about the country is probably the least amount of
    effort you can give towards a cause. Nice, cheap symbolism.

  15. Della Yassine says:

    wow, he was really determined to ” Milk ” that weiner joke !

  16. FIREDRAGON158 says:

    Good on Taylor Swift for doing her civic duty.

  17. Fred Fredburger says:

    There’s a difference between protesting racial injustice, and protesting
    the United States in whole, which is what that football player did.

  18. Joe Nichols says:

    Anthony Weiner = Councilman Dexhart

  19. Andriy Fadyeyenko says:

    Can’t wait for another video about the upcoming erection – I mean election.