KATNISS vs HERMIONE: Princess Rap Battle (Molly C. Quinn & Whitney Avalon)

KATNISS vs HERMIONE: Princess Rap Battle (Molly C. Quinn & Whitney Avalon)

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When the Goblet of Fire selects the ‘girl on fire,’ Hermione (Molly C. Quinn) takes on Katniss (Whitney Avalon) in a book-babe brawl.

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Writer/Exec. Producer/Director/Katniss: Whitney Avalon
http://whitneyavalon.com http://twitter.com/whitneyavalon
Writer/Producer/Director/Editor: Steve Gossett

Hermione: Molly C. Quinn http://twitter.com/mollyquinn93

Harry: Chase Fein http://chasefein.com
Ron: Evin Michaels http://twitter.com/evinmichaels
Peeta: John Robert Keena http://johnrobertkeena.com/
Gale: Cole Gerdes http://instagram.com/colegerdes
Dumbledore: Thomas Stiver
Effie: Taryn Southern http://youtube.com/TarynSouthern

Cinematographer: Peyton Skelton
1st Assistant Camera: Bianca Bahena
2nd AC/Data Tech: Vanessa Ward
Composer: Ryan Elder http://ryaneldermusic.com
Make-up/Hair: Patty Jarvis, Rebecca Lee Castro
Costume Designer: Sarah Jeanne
Prod. Coordinator: Cate Cundiff, Leia Crawford
Prod. Designer: Paul Bianchi
Staff Writer/Asst. to Producers: Michael Sullivan
Key Grip: Kevin Nieliwocki
Gaffer: Gio Knox
Grip: Billy Brenner, Jim Sabo, Jim Burzelic
1st AD/Puppeteer: T.C. DeWitt
BTS Cam/Stills: Candace Lauren Ostler
VFX Supervisor: Brad Clapper
Sound Designer: Shannon Deane
Playback: Alex Frew
Wigs: Laura Richards
Asst. to Producers: Clare Loughran
PA: Elizabeth Osterwisch, Dan Braswell, Reera Yoo
PA/Craft Service: Diane Musselman
Cultural Consultants: Gary Scullion, Nick Acott
Archery Advisor: Kaitlin Kelly
Special Thanks: Chris Schmidt, Evelyn Torres, Jamie Chandler, Mareena D’Angelo

** LYRICS **
K: I’m Katniss and I can’t miss, I’m the fastest, you can’t catch this
Make a last wish – gonna need three cannons for this hat trick
So sick of your schtick, all I do is win, ya nitpick
That’s why I’m the hero and you’re just a sidekick
Pathetic and predictable – I’m hot on your trail
Coulda had a Viktor, but you chose ginger fail?
I bet with wands drawn, he’s still just a yawn
With performances worse than Michael Gambon
Got a Nimbus up your butt? Well, let’s probe deeper
Never played quidditch but you know I’m a keeper
You must be drunk on butterbeer, now grab a cloak and disappear
Who wants to kick this witch’s ass? Hmm… I volunteer!

H: Oh, there’ll be no trouble ‘cause on stage you struggle
I’ll be charming and disarming while I waste this rubbish Muggle
I’ll end this blasted skrewt, propaganda prostitute
Who thinks she’s so cute with her Girl Scout salute
Just a tribute, can’t decide which guy’s sweeter
Share your bread with Gale, then stuff your mouth with Peeta
How does it help the poor to start a civil war?
Your story’s a bore, why don’t you plagiarize more?
It’s been done before, ask Dumbledore
It’s Battle Royale set in 1984
And furthermore if you’re keeping score that’s five more points for GRYFFINDOR!

K: I’ll drill this dentists’ daughter here in her alma mater
‘bout to slaughter this otter, even Potter knows I’m hotter
I stomp career jocks, kick your British buttocks
For this Riddle, second fiddle, you’re the Watson to his Sherlock
Turn back the clocks, tick tock, tick tock
Odds ever in my favor ‘cause you rap like an Avox
Shock the mic like a wire, you’ll fry and die on a pyre
‘cause you’re gonna get burned by the girl on fire!

H: On fire? Oh! Just like your dad
Or the hospital you visited to film a quick ad
I’ve got the cortex to ace my subjects
I got that bad blood while you run with rejects
These coal miner rednecks need reality checks
You’re just another pawn in the military complex
A fashion figurehead for the underfed
Brilliant, you survived! But Rue’s still dead.

K: The difference between you and me is book knowledge and street smarts
Step to the Mockingjay you’ll end up with scar marks
It’s like you’re hijacked, you’re mental, delirious
We find it funny, but you’re dead Sirius
I’m the pro with a bow and the flow to overthrow
Mr. Snow and his whole freaking reality show
Little miss perfect, but what’s truly twisted
On your parents’ happiest day they forgot you existed

H: I bust bars like Haymitch, the smartest witch, I own this bitch
Hey, how are you still hungry in that beefcake sandwich?
Fraud wedding, fake baby, and your flames don’t exist
So-called star-crossed lovers need a camera to kiss
I sling unforgettable verses like unforgiveable curses
What’s worse is your universe isn’t immersive
Your glory’s only temporary, your country is a mortuary
Next on your itinerary: kill yourself, eat the berries

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20 Responses

  1. Chase Cunningham says:

    let’s see how the last movie goes before we judge this rap lol

  2. Mojan Rahmatian says:

    please do Jasmine vs Arial

  3. Forwardcat101 says:

    I love that you guys referenced Battle Royale I love this

  4. Alyssa Elemia says:

    well done!!!congrats whitney avalon….

  5. Jake Webster says:

    Did…did anyone stay until the ending?

  6. TROQUE4 says:

    xena vs buffy and gabrielle vs willow

  7. Mark Anthony Inciong says:

    Anna vs elsa

  8. Christian Trapp says:

    Finally I’ve been waiting to see them do another one of these

  9. harlie L says:

    I think ravenclaw would fit katnis

  10. Olivia hannah says:

    Pocahontas vs. Rupunzle

  11. Andrew Seiber says:

    These rhymes were actually very impressive 😂

  12. xitah7 says:


  13. Ember Flame says:

    I can’t decide who won. The burns were real.

  14. MissV1yo says:

    hahaha. .. OMG no you didn’t! lyrics are sick! Katniss def won that one.

  15. MrEnky007 says:

    Dat kiss tho

  16. Casa Yves says:

    Xena vs wonder woman

  17. Kawthar Bakhach says:

    People like you MAKE MY LIFE!!!

  18. Andy Alonzo says:

    Michonne VS The Bride (Kill Bill)

  19. Richard Taylor says:

    That was so good. I lost it “dead Sirius”.

  20. DoGon Supreme says:

    and the culture appropriation continues