Stephen Colbert’s Cyborgasm: CES 2019
Optimus Prime chairs, wifi-capable wood, and smart bras. Stephen recaps the International Consumer Electronics Show 2019.
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.
Smart ass 😂😂😂 it had usb port for some reason 😂😂
“To DD.”
Ugggggh god damnit that was dumb.
Still love this show .
Yet, in true dad glory, he was proud and enjoying himself with that joke.
Maybe a tad too much, though!
More like „That‘s why I love this show.“
I use double d batteries.
Dad jokes may not be funny, but they can still be fun.
you were expecting 9volts?
I could already imagine a Bluetooth-connected Brief/Boxer and its functions….
Yeah… I think he was thinking something more… stimulating.
+John C John What do you want smartass? My clitoris size? My labia minora’s size? My labia majora’s size? Or all three of it?
+John C John Yeah, so the little boys stay on the sideline 😒
+Eisdax I consider myself a pretty educated guy… But never has it been more clear, the more I learn, the more I realize how little I know.
+Ichijo Festival I believe everybody who actually likes expanding their horizon thinks that. I most definitely do.
How are you gonna do Cyborgasm and not talk about the vibrator incident at CES?
So many disappointed female fans here. I can rest assure you I am for your orgasms just like mine!
Yep, a totally missed opportunity.
Was it what all the buzz was about?
Doesn’t sex toys have their own exposition events?
poluicionador they do, but male targeted sex toys were shown at this event. Last year they had sex bots and this year they showcased VR porn, I believe. Not that VR porn is specifically for men but I believe it was the demographic they were looking for
Saw that battery joke coming from a mile away… and it didn’t disappoint!!
Smart TV, smart refrigerator, we just need a smart president.
Y’know, having an advanced master computer as supreme overlord WOULD be a better option …
You need to wait for CES 2021 for that
wesley rodgers you have a smart president the man should be Emperor not President
you write better jokes than stephens people. you must smoke more weed.
Good luck haha! I’m praying for you 🙏🏻👌
Any Mark Walberg is too much.
walberders
I saw that battery joke coming a mile away but still funny
“The right amount of Mark Wahlberg”. I wonder how many people’s heads that flew over.
anymore than a subliminal flash
Among all the CES coverage, this video is the best.
So I’m supposed to buy a ridiculously expensive bra…to tell me my size…. instead of asking a specialist… for free……mkay
plus its going to be the same for the most part. Most women dont have explosive growth or shrinkage day to day.
I imagine it’d be more for stores to give multiple customers a high-tech fitting than for one person to buy for themselves. If Victoria’s Secret is any indication, a more accurate fitting would be better for consumers!
+Chelsea Lindsay Yeah, not to mention, a lot less intrusive one.
You know I can tell my bra size too – by looking at the tag before I put it on. 😛
That smart bra though. Kinda redundant if you’d have to buy a bra in your size that tells you your size
+Meh Jones You must be fun at parties.
it’s obviously designed by men. Women know that bras are like shoes, and the sizes are just a starting point, and really only tell you which one of that model is larger than the other.
If you could go, “I’m a 38D,” (or “I’m a size 7 shoe,” or “10 pants,” or *anything*) and have that be the only info you’d need to get a proper-fitting bra the first time out, this wouldn’t even be necessary.
Fuck, even with a trained, professional human bra fitter, you still have to try a bunch on before you find one that’s right for you; all they can do is say “Actually, you’re wearing the wrong size; let’s try this one instead.” But you still have to go through that trying-them-on phase because, surprise, there’s more to fitting a bra than just your chest and cup size, and manufacturers’ listed sizes on women’s clothing don’t mean a damned thing anyways.
The men designers might not have know that, but I guarantee every woman does.
+KryssLaBryn Uhg. IKR. I hate having to buy new bras. Even if I get the same brand and the same size, they still fit differently than the last one I bought.
+KryssLaBryn Ah, I hear what you’re saying…
I need to spend more time with my fiancee at Victoria’s Secret.
I’ll certainly try, but despite this perfectly innocent premise, I’ve got this strange feeling she may think it just some cheap ploy to get her in skimpy lingerie.
The smart bra might be useful for stores that sell bras. Instead of fidgeting around with measuring tape and shit, they could just hand out the smart bra to determine the correct size.
Colbert you are too cute…that last face…
I liked his expression when he said, “smart ass.”
USB? That’s so 2015. My ass has an HDMI get with the program Stephen!
Introducing: The smart brick! It tells you when your milk is about to go off, and the local temperature of Windhoek, the capitol of Namibia! Keep one next to you while you sleep, and it’ll record your dreams and sell them off to the highest bidder! Combine just 8 smart bricks with a smart plank to create an elegant end table! Now for just $16,000!
This is not the future we wanted…
But it’s the one we deserve 🙁
Momon It’s the result of morons running the capitalism.
marketing to anthropoid hominids, the homo sapiens sapiens see it for the ruse it is and avoid participating in the ”gotta have the next biggest best” contest.
So no mention of how they took an award away from a company for their impressive work to further the field of vibrators for women for being obscene, yet gladly display sexbots and vr porn on their floor?
How about instead of a smart bra we just make a bra that does suck to wear?
Well I’d never considered watching porn on my garage door… but now I won’t rest until I’ve made it happen.
My first thought was “A projector?”
actually I could use that bra because my size seems to change in whatever store I’m in for some unknown reason. “Nah, nah buy this overpriced rib-breaking device for 90 dollars it fits perfectly!” NO IT DOESN’T.
yeah it can’t tell you your size in the different stores just a general size
M0oranshi: Henry Ford may have been an absolutely horrendous human being, but he had a few right ideas. Chief among them was standardization. Every part A exactly the same, every slot B cut to the same specifications, so that every tab C can fit in them. Why do we keep moving away from such a great idea?
I too have noticed that every single department store uses a different measuring system for their clothes, and it infuriates me to no end. We need a global standard, completely divorced from illusion and self-delusion. If, for example, the circumference of your waist is 106.68 cm, male or female, then that’s the size that will be printed on the pants. No more of this stupid separate system of numbers for men and women!
+sdfkjgh because the all want to make the most confortable and best looking bras and won’t share their sizing system with the other companies