Why You Are Lonely and How to Make Friends

Why You Are Lonely and How to Make Friends

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https://sites.google.com/view/sources-friendship/

Friends make life good. They provide the scaffolding that makes it not just bearable but fun. They give us a sense of meaning and purpose and are a source of security, self esteem and happiness. Almost nothing predicts how happy you will be as how connected you feel and a lack of social connection is associated with a number of diseases and a shorter life.

But maybe you have scrolled through your phone, unsure who to call to go to a movie with, to celebrate with or ask for comfort. You may realize that you don’t have enough friends and feel lonely. And it is not just you. Disconnectedness and loneliness are widespread.

Many people want more close friends but don’t know how to get them.

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30 Responses

  1. Kurzgesagt – In a Nutshell says:

    If you are over 18 and want to take part in the international kurzgesagt meetup: Go to our temporary subreddit and look for your area or city, to find a Kurzgesagt meet up near you: https://kgs.link/kgs_meetup Please note that this is free and self organized by Kurzgesagt viewers like you. The subreddit will be open for 3 weeks and will be made private after. Thanks to everyone who helped us set this up!
    We’ve created a few things to share with new & old friends: https://kgs.link/friendship_collection

  2. Ludoviajante says:

    I just wanted to say that I feel lucky to have content like this freely accessible on the internet. You guys rock!
    Much love from Brazil.

  3. Tyler Stevens says:

    The thing about friendships is that the older you get the harder it seems to make natural connections. You graduate school, move to a new city, and you don’t know anyone. This is a great video with solid examples for everyone out there, especially post-COVID. Best of luck to everyone out there.

  4. CannonRushed says:

    When I was a kid, I always found it kind of sad that it seemed like my grandparents, who were really awesome and dynamic fun people, didn’t have many friends. Now as I get older (approaching 50), I see that this happens to more and more people as life goes on, myself included. When I was in my 20s, I was constantly surrounded by so many different social groups (friends from college, work friends, theatre friends, friends of whatever girl I was dating, rando bar groups) that it was overwhelming at times. But once you have kids and move out to the burbs, your social circle gets smaller as distance sets in–a quick beer at the pub on the corner becomes a planned night out with an uber–and of course, all those friends are moving and having families too. I joked in my 40s that I only see my friends at weddings. Now approaching 50, I mostly see them at funerals or the occasional boys’ night out. The interesting thing is that this feels okay to me, natural even. I have of course made new friends out here in the burbs, but they aren’t as important to my identity as my friends in my 20s or in college were. I wonder if my grandparents felt the same way.

  5. Bryce Croft says:

    I have been watching Kurzgesagt videos for years, and I just have to say how much I love these videos that talk about the importance of personal health. I love the more ridiculous videos about the Earth turning to gold and the various scientific topics about anything from various species of ants to supermassive black holes, but I truly appreciate these videos about the things I can do to just be a better person, both as an individual and a member of society. It is hard not to feel alone, especially in the last two years. Thank you so much for years of amazing quality content that really does help make the world a better place.

    • Febi Widi says:

      Beautifully said 😁 totally agree!

    • Buckethead says:

      100% agree. This channel has managed to keep making better and better videos over time and offer such great advice, all while still being entertaining. This is one of those channels I know I’ll still be watching for a very long time.

    • Linkly says:

      me too! these personal videos have really help me with keeping my head forward and above the water, and keep me optimistic about my situation, life and future.

  6. My Voice says:

    I’ve experienced loneliness in the past years but this summer has been the best summer of my whole life. My personality somehow evolved and I started making new friendships. I’m not a social butterfly at all but at least I’m not lonely. This video is a salvation to anyone who actually needs help. Also if you need someone to talk to, I’m here ❤️ I know how loneliness can affect lives

  7. temet nosce says:

    Loneliness has been my biggest struggle for years because I’ve been failing to connect with family and meeting new people, being “new” to where I am. Anyone who thinks not having friends, or at least one person to talk to, isn’t such a huge problem hasn’t experienced the slow, tormenting pain of being totally alone and feeling like there is no point in living. This problem of loneliness needs to be given much more attention, but few people care about an issue before it has affected them personally.

  8. Justin Mitchell says:

    As a recent college grad, I can say first-hand that the pandemic royally screwed things up. I had transferred to a new school in the Spring of 2020 (right before everything shut down), so I had a whopping 2 months on campus. Since then, all classes were online and I only returned to campus for the final semester before graduating Spring 2022. My social circle was non-existent and I feel ridiculously lonely now because of that. :/

    • wildcard says:

      Sorry to hear of that lost opportunity, but conversely I’ve long since lost touch with all my closest friends in high school and college; you can make new friends whether you have many or few today. As the video says, getting out to physical places where you’re doing something you enjoy will lead to randomly meeting people that like doing those things too. It’s been a long time, but one of my first post-college friendships started after a little small talk at work, I mentioned I was new in town and bored out of my mind and asked if they had any suggestions for something I could do this coming weekend, and instead got invited to a dinner with them and their friends. That one connection led to others that are still my close friends many years later. Prior to that I spent a few months in that “ridiculously lonely” phase you describe, but now I can’t find even a moment to be alone… life’s ups and downs. Hang in there!

  9. Roie Randelman says:

    I’ve actually just moved to college and I now spend most of my time alone, which is the exact opposite of what I was like in high school. I started feeling lonely, and then this video came out. Thank you.

    • Dustin says:

      In college I was similar for the first month or so, then I started studying with my door open or just sitting in the hall, and people who were bored or in a similar need to socialize would come hang out too. I believe I was the result of many new friendships that year, not just for myself but many other friend groups. yeah it was a little awkward at first, but you sorta see the same people over and over and casually get to know each other.

  10. Enzo Palmer says:

    Some videos on YouTube are mind blowing in how good they are. I’ve moved 3 times and as many years, and compounded with the pandemic, things we hard. I left behind so many amazing friends, had to make new ones, then left those friends behind again. I went through incredibly difficult times, but also learned so much about how to make friendships and keep them. And you just summarized most of what I learned in 13 minutes. The one tip I feel should be emphasized is the power of reaching out. With the power of the internet, old friends are never truly gone. One call can leave you so invigorated, and be such a joy all around.

    Anyway, I hope you all have a great life, and make some good friends along the way!

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