Apple Wins Capitalism & Parents Enlist “Fortnite” Coaches |The Daily Show

Apple Wins Capitalism & Parents Enlist “Fortnite” Coaches |The Daily Show

Apple gets a $1 trillion valuation, Pope Francis declares his opposition to the death penalty, and parents are apparently hiring “Fortnite” coaches for their kids.

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89 Responses

  1. AngelOne11 says:

    video games are a requirement these days to get into OR/surgeon training. Surgeons are doing more and more robotic surgeries that require a great hand and eye coordination. So it’s a great investment on the parent part if you ask me.

    • Magic_Zach says:

      It depends on the game type. Simulators are best.

    • Scorpio Moon says:

      AngelOne11 I had heart surgery guided by a small computer. This surgery did not exist 10 years ago, I total success and I was driving around the next day like nothing. You are unto something here.

    • Ken Havens says:

      Only problem with that is there are no replays in real life and your hitpoints are …very low 🙂

    • Evan Nibbe says:

      Howtard Controllers for ship-based lasers also use the same device as Xbox.

    • Tustin2121 says:

      Playing lots of Ocarina of Time helped me navigate a map better than my parents, so…. there’s something to be said for real life skills being developed in games…

  2. Angel of Sarcasm says:

    How the hell will Fortnite get you a scholarship?

    • Francisco Patiño says:

      i wonder

    • mondovb says:

      Probably about the same way being born lazy, spoiled, and rich will.
      Just look at Donald Trump, Betsy DeVos, and the Bush Brothers as prime examples…

    • Arachnofiend says:

      America’s actually slow on the uptake on this. Europe’s been going strong in esports for years, and in South Korea it’s been a viable profession since the days Starcraft was where all the money was.

    • Saint Massive says:

      chief 2bongs, you’re american? If so: your internet is dogshit mate. US is placed 47th on internet speed per country. Fourty fucking seventh. Guess all those smart people in your country havent learned about internet yet.

      The whole ‘i believe this to be true so imma just count it as fact’ thing is what allowed Trump to get in charge, i really really hoped you would have learned from that.

      Ever wondered why sports that are so popular in the US consists of a lot of short bursts of action followed by a break? It’s because people in the US are trained to have short attention span, thats why your sports dont work out of the US and why you have such a hard time adopting football (world’s #1 sport for many many years). So basically, who cares you are the best at sports that no-one really plays but you. Win a football world cup (or better yet, qualify) and we’ll talk again.

      One last thing: no-one is angry at the US for not bailing anyone out. Matter of fact, we are annoyed when your goverment does step in because it usually makes things worse and we somehow have to be thankful for it. Trust me mate, if we ever truly need help we can just as easily turn to China. The days of America being the shiny beacon of hope are long gone. Thnx for your help during WW2 but we got it from here, you have your own mess to clean up before adding to ours.

    • Nebbixle says:

      The parents are so dumb with little sense for even PAYING for a Fortnite coach. I’m moving to Toto’s Africa, I can’t take this anymore!

  3. Auntie Em says:

    Love Trevor, good way to start the morning, usually I see something about Trump, get anxiety, and then call my senator by 8:30 in the morning LOL

  4. Avy P says:

    Or they could sit down and play with their kids like a real parent?

    • Anfustar says:

      Or their parents know that there is a lot of money in esports. CNBC: “Epic makes ‘Fortnite’ biggest esport in the world with $100 million in prize money”. I mean… dayum!

    • KinghtofZero00 says:

      Did no one pay attention to the news including Trevor? The parents just want to prize money, its not difficult to understand.

    • elijah mikle says:

      KinghtofZero00 Well yeah, and even if Fortnight dies, gaming skills, are gaming skills. They move to the next big 3rd person shooter.

    • transylvanian says:

      When? Many working class parents simply do not have the time. They work so much just to make ends meet there is no time. Capitalism creates a culture of alienation, it alienates parents from their children just like it alienates workers from the product of their labor. Another reason why the proletariat must seize the means of production.

    • mondovb says:

      Mom and/or Dad are too busy texting / sexting / or whatever in the fuck it is they do with their trillion dollar iPhones…

  5. creamiceandsugar _ says:

    hm esports exists so getting a coach for fortnite isnt that weird? i mean, in the way that there isnt a Huge tournament for it yet maybe? but there are a lot and the huge celebrity stacked tournament showed that fortnite isnt that bad to invest in lol it’s like getting a swimming coach if u notice your kid is pretty good at it.

    • the me says:

      2160p most tournaments dont have an age restriction

      but you wont see any kids because you need to be the best of the best

      which takes years of experience

      but if i had to give an example

      there was a pro player in league of legends who started playing in the lcs when he was 15(i think)
      and he was very good

    • SuperPenguin77664 says:

      creamiceandsugar _ If you’re honestly that bad at games that you need a coach…
      You have no way of getting into esports

    • the me says:

      SuperPenguin77664 pro players have coaches
      personal trainers
      dietitians
      gymnists
      you dont need a coach only if ur bad
      you can use a coach to improve faster and learn faster

      do i think the parents are overblowing their expectations

      definitely

      but it is a viable thing to consider

    • henry tep says:

      The problem is these parents are stupid, don’t understand anything about video games, and therefore are going to make bad decisions in picking coaches which may or may not improve their kids performance, or be able to gauge their kid’s skill level correctly to see if they are gifted or not in video games. This industry is very new, and we have a long way to go before we flush out all the kinks in the system, and fortnite skills aren’t as transferable as other skills.

    • the me says:

      henry tep the parents in the report play the games

      this market is not new and has existed for over a decade(though it only fot big last couple of years)

      if you mean the fortnite esports market then you are absolutely true

      yes fortnite skills are transferables
      though alone they dont do shit

      they dont make another career
      but they can improve on existing ones such as surgery using human controlled robots

      you could transfer your fornite skills to other tps and fps games

      but fortnite is unique and it wont get you to the top instantly like how shroud went from best csgo to best pubg

      and finally
      they are paying for a coach they are not the coach

      i can understand where you are coming from and your main point is correct

      if they are thinking about esports

      than most of them are making a bad investment because it takes more than simply hiring a coach to make a pro player
      not everyone can be a pro player no matter how much money they pay to coaches

      but if they are doing it to allow their kids to improve do they can have bragging rights or so they can play with their kids without being frustrated at how bad their kids are(cuz they are young kids with low experience) so they can have fun together

      i think then that is a good reason to get a coach

      but only if you have lots of money to waste

  6. Ph@tMantv says:

    I guess I won’t be buying apple now!

  7. Tamer M says:

    Great now pay taxes like the rest of us no more corporate welfare

  8. Buddy Piper says:

    my son is a terrible student. the school is all over his ass for lack of interest. he invents video games that more than pay the rent.

    • Vincent De Alwetende says:

      Buddy Piper you’re talking to me? If so…. Hahahahahaha. I’m an accountant, so I don’t think he makes more money than I do. But money isn’t everything! so why are you screaming my son makes more money than you and you and you?

    • Scorpio Moon says:

      Buddy Piper school is probable not stimulating for him, see if you can find him a specialized program or personalized home school program if that is feasible for your family.

    • Savage Jesus says:

      +Vincent De Alwetende Yeah… no. If you’re a successful accountant you wouldn’t be here making a fucking fool of yourself in the youtube comments. You can’t even write a fucking proper fucking sentence faggot. And how much money you make doens’t make you special LOL. People who have real money don’t brag about it in the youtube comments haha. Also, he wasn’t even talking to you, how fucking stupid are you? Or were you just so desperate to brag about yoru fake job and fake money. Get raped bitch.

    • Ѳbj3ctl3ss Ħatr3d says:

      Savage Jesus…. You should ask your doctor if Xanax is right for you. Holy shit…

    • mercury1321 says:

      Savage Jesus You’re trying too hard and contradicting yourself in the process.

  9. caca says:

    1 trillion dollars yet they need a tax break. Apple is one of the big companies that does not pay taxes.

    • Sîhêm Nôûr-Elhouda says:

      caca And can they just getaway with it ??

    • Joe says:

      caca the tax break is for investors and yield and stock buybacks. Apple buys it’s own stock with the tax cuts to inflate it’s own stock value.

    • Jerry K says:

      Remember……. they are people too……….. (someone explain that to me., if They are people.. what are actual people… and why does that make sense to so many….. people…..? )

    • Pietro Jenkins says:

      That’s a lot of mullah worth more than the GDP’s of more than 150 countries.

  10. Sean Rector says:

    Meanwhile, Apple is sitting on a quarter of a trillion dollars in cash, buys back their stock at every opportunity (gotta get them bonuses), and dodge taxes at every turn. Why did we need that corporate tax rate again?

    • Joshua Sweetvale says:

      Sean Rector Not as much. In northwestern europe anyway.

    • Real Patriot says:

      Sean Rector
      This is why president Trump is bringing U.S. company cash back to the U.S. with tax cuts and deregulation. Apple is investing in and bringing back Billion’s of dollars to the U.S. economy through repatriation as are many other companies that are taking advantage of the new corporate tax rate.

    • elijah mikle says:

      Real Patriot Really they are? Can you point me to a business article about all the money they are reinvesting? Sounds true, so why bother looking it up? Got a figure on how much money in dollars that they are reinvesting? A rough figure will be fine.

    • Y. Lin says:

      Actually the extra profits are just going to stock buybacks not innovation or investment, plus more companies are being shipped to other countries because of the tariffs

    • Scorpio Moon says:

      Uno G Europe is far more progressive than the U.S. in so many ways.

  11. Kim Jong Fun says:

    Apple wins capitalism yet factories in China that make iphones have to install steel nets in their buildings to prevent workers committing suicide.

    • RealTalk says:

      Of course…how else do you expect them to increase their profit margins forever?
      I mean the next iPhone will be like $1000 and they “avoid” a lot of tax but they will still need more nets in the future.
      Gotta keep winning at capitaism…

    • Mylie Moo says:

      Kim Jong Fun yes, America needs to turn communist so they can also have bars on every factory window. Can’t let the Chinese have all the fun!

    • upekha draupadhi Rajapaksha says:

      Ricky Cunningham what do u mean apple has no control? They can totally declare the terms. If they really care, they could say we dont want to work with compnies who exploit empoyees. Word “sucks” doesnt explain the condition. Yeah,u could call it a choice, but if the other option is to be jobless n starve, is that actually a choice? China is a country with billion of population, so jobs are hard to come by. N like i said, modern day slavery does not have visible chains,only the figurative ones

    • fredy gump says:

      If “having a job” is the pinacle of goodness, then yes, capitalism provides that. But does a job actually make people happy? No. Often a job makes people chronically unhappy. It doesn’t matter if people wouldn’t have iphones without capitalism, because an iphone doesn’t actually improve life…technology changes how we live, but also causes changes that contribute to decreasing happiness. But we believe in technology, so we trick ourselves into believing that it is all necessary for our happiness. You may want to learn a little about ideology! 🙂

    • M A C says:

      Don’t worry, Donald Trump will fix this! One day, those will be AMERICA’s suicide nets!

  12. Jackie Ciser says:

    Captial punishment should be a thing. Bring back the beheading- George carlin

  13. Eric Nick says:

    Esports is becoming big and video games are on its way to be top profitable industry in the entertainment world by 2020. So any one who hops on that train are profiting big time.

    • nupe865 says:

      99% of you lames are just wasting money. You will never win anything, or be a professional gamer.

    • Saloz94 says:

      yea but its only the rare few that get any decent money from it. Its not like something like baseball or basketball or any sport that you still get a nice chunk of change if you lose or if your not the most popular player.

    • seededsoul says:

      You gotta combine the profit of cell phones and of esports…like a cell phone, but you can only play games on it. Call it like the iGame, or GameBoy.

    • Eric Nick says:

      seededsoul Oof People on mobile will never get into esports due to limitations. Which to be fair most most mobile gamers are only cratered to the casual consumer.

  14. ziljin says:

    iPhone X going to cost $1000. Insanity.

    • Ѳbj3ctl3ss Ħatr3d says:

      My Moto E4 cost 79 plus tax, runs a custom 7.1.2 rom, does what I want it to do, act as a phone and is able to stream youtube on wifi. Stop paying so much for the product and the price will be lowered to compete. Supply and demand ftw.

    • Joseph Momma says:

      ziljin Fun fact, I’ve never owned any Apple products in my life but made over a million dollars investing in the company… years ago when I saw all the morons with their iPods I realized that I could make a LOT of money betting on the ignorance of the average human… also invested in Facebook and Netflix and Amazon since every other moron on the planet was buying that bullshit too! Used to be a nurse working my ass off taking care of sick people and after investing just $100k of my life’s savings 8 years ago I now don’t have to work another day in my life!

    • ResinDreams says:

      Joseph Momma Nothing moronic about having iPods when they first came out. There was literally NOTHING else even comparable out back then. Also I call BS on your story 😂 Apple revolutionized mobile devices, nobody wanted tablets until the iPad came out. The best phone until iPhones were blackberry! Until Apple laptops were heavy enough to kill someone with. Laugh all you want, Apple is winning.

    • fetB says:

      _September _ research costs money, but evidently, not as much as you think or they want you to believe. Get a reality check

    • Seiko Wolfe says:

      ziljin They already do… last I checked.

  15. ziljin says:

    I love playing farming and survival games but I would never want to live on a farm or a cabin in the woods ever. Too much manual labor involved.

    • Rowan Carr says:

      Jordan Hill That is really a good way to express it.
      Life is more simple out here, you can hear yourself think.
      My family has never been interested in what city people are doing anyway.

    • Me ZMAN says:

      Interesting

    • Melchor Sánchez Mendiola says:

      PIZACLATON DDD ml

    • Joseph Momma says:

      ziljin of course I assume that you are a lazy fucking millennial ahole

    • palmieres says:

      Manual labour is very rewarding and good for the soul. I love gaming but in my professional life I do actual manual labour. There’s a special kind of emotional reward in seeing the fruits of your labour become a reality after so much effort. You come to value yourself more when you see you have acomplished something useful for yourself and others.

  16. Rgr Hh says:

    Tf is happening

  17. Sagar Bobade says:

    Video game employment news😂😂😂😂

  18. Menix Animations says:

    Kid: “I wanna be a doctor”
    Dad: “Not under my roof”
    Cracked me 😂😂

    • Jessica Olson says:

      Menix Animations yea the whole parent bit at the end was so funny. You could totally see that happening too as a parent tries to live out their esport dreams through their kids (like traditional sports of the past). 😂

    • Dschehuti Nefer says:

      Replace videogames with football and becoming a doctor with becoming a teacher and you get my father alright. That joke was hilarious, but also hit awfully close to home. XD

    • Menix Animations says:

      It’s a bit weird tho that parents are doing it, which cause young kids to spend *more* time, on videogames

  19. retrovideogamejunkie says:

    pope: death penalty attack human dignity…
    yaeh, sexually abussed kids , no right?…… sigue defendiendo a esos hijos de puta, fuck….sorry…. english…

    • retrovideogamejunkie says:

      Yodalemos I am from Chile, so I know what I am talking…

    • Me (No, not Ashildr, I had the name before Doctor Who, and I'm not changing it!) says:

      He’s tried to be on the right side of history, but I agree he’s screwed up a few times when it comes to child abuse, which is hard to forgive. I still believe he’s the best chance to slowly but steadily transform the catholic church to the better and hopefully also solve some of it’s biggest problems (AKA bastards who fuck children)

    • Nachtkriecher says:

      The catholic church has been trying to crack down on that, look at intention and action, not at outcome. Pope Francis is actually working against the systemic child abuse alongside most of the clergy.
      And yes, both violate human dignity. And him speaking out against the death penalty is a massive positive. The fact that child molesters within the clergy exist does not detract from him, it detracts from them.

    • Scorpio Moon says:

      retrovideogamejunkie I know 😢😢😢 but he is up against centuries of turning a blind eye. Dale tiempo que este Papa si tiene compasión ante su prójimo. Y el sólo no puede transformar una institución que históricamente proteje a esos hijos de puta (creo que ofendo a las putas con esa expresión, porque un violador de niños es en realidad lo peor que puede ser un ser humano)

    • Alix Mordant says:

      Yes, there is so, so much wrong with the Catholic Church. They also treat women like second class humans. Remember: They still BAN CONTRACEPTIVES! Banning contraceptives makes many, many peoples lives in poor countries worse. A shame. The Catholic Church should go to hell.

  20. Fiaura The Tank Girl says:

    Just remember to marry a South Korean Daughter, you must defeat her father, at Starcraft.

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