Everything Wrong With Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens

Everything Wrong With Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens

Sins of last year’s second-best film costarring Oscar Isaac and Domhnall Gleeson.

Next week: Might be a “sh*tty superhero movie” sighting.

Remember, no movie is without sin! Which movie’s sins should we expose next?!

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20 Responses

  1. John G says:

    Leia and Chewie completely blanking each other after Han’s death should
    have been a sin. Instead… hug the girl you never met.

  2. Eric Milani says:

    Alternate sins:

    I’m not going to sin Kylo Ren’s saber. A light saber made specifically for
    killing other saber users is the one legitimate use for this sort of mod,
    plus it’s completely in character for an emo Darth Vader fanboy.

    Right now I am imagining the massive Ewok slaughter Ren must have committed
    to obtain that thing… and wondering why the movie didn’t open with that.

    “No. New jacket.” It’s fine leather, some guy was selling them.

    “It was Snoke. He turned our son to the Dark Side.” Also, Linkin Park.

    (Chewie tackles Phasma)
    Brienne of Tarth finally meets her ideal man.

    I’m okay with Han Solo dying. I am not okay with Han Solo going out like a

    See what happens when you don’t shoot first?

    Still a less disappointing son that Shia LeBeouf.

  3. Kingredrex says:

    do the boy next door

  4. Sean Gillespie says:

    The best fan explanation I’ve herd for R2 taking so long to power up was
    not the map but he stared to boot up when BB-8 uncovered him but had to
    install 20 something years worth of updates before he became functional.

  5. Andre “Monroe Jackson West” Jafreese Tyquofer Jerquinti Jamal Harris III says:

    *Licks Cheetos dust of fingers* “Oh my god, hated Rey in the movie. Example
    of Disney’s PC bullshit.” *Pushes Fedora back to the top of the head* “What
    an overrated movie. J.J. Abrams is a terrible director. The 92% rating on
    rotten tomatoes and superior reviews of the movie were obviously bought.” *Wipes
    sweat out of neckbeard* “You’re clearly not a star wars fan if you liked
    this movie. George Lucas’s special effects were clearly superior. *Continues
    to masturbate to Jar Jar*

  6. loz mans says:

    Marry Sue 100 sins

  7. TheEliteAgent OfChaos says:

    Oh yeah I’ve been waiting for this

  8. NeroAngelo616 says:

    Yah you spelt megadeath wrong, but I know for some reason you really felt
    inclined to mean that.

  9. Delta Shmelta says:

    ‘Red headed Hitler’ ?

  10. Radovan Andjelic says:

    Fin had friends. Learn about it, and you will remove all of those sins you
    gave over him not having a past with stormtroopers

  11. Blacklight reactive says:

    Chewy just realllllly didn’t want to kill his god-son

  12. vanwinklestein says:

    I love how you removed sins for all the silly mary sue moments with Rey,
    possibly the most nonsensical part of the movie but gave sins for things
    that actually made sense.

  13. irishboy664 says:

    hahaha jeremy thinks finn is 30

  14. Dark Knightwing of the Phoenix says:

    Plus, a human chick hits on him at the resistance base

  15. Victor dARKO says:

    Anyone notice that the bad lady in the Catina that tells first order about
    the droid. She says in her language ” a gundam” gundam are robots/droids?
    Possible connection?! Fuck

  16. Juan Camilo Escobar Gonzalez says:

    I lost myself in the “darth bejamin 1983” part

  17. bigrickmachine says:

    Actually Maz Kanata works at the Cloud City dump so thats why she found his

  18. Travis Richey says:

    Yeah, ‘fraid so.


  19. Robert Adkins says:

    They intentionally made this movie a throwback to A New Hope, I don’t get
    why people are so upset with this. I think JJ did great, and you live a
    pretty sad life if all you do is look at the negative side of every movie
    ever made. You would do well on the Dark Side

  20. Harrison Moon says: