If Hand Turkeys Were Real

If Hand Turkeys Were Real

Some people call them a crime against god, other people call them just plain delicious!

Jemberly Farms presents, just in time for Thanksgiving, real genuine hand turkeys. Straight from your nightmares and onto your dinner table!

CH Shorts – Original sketches, music videos, and pop culture parodies spanning the last CollegeHumor decade.

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Mom – Anais Fairweather
Dad – Matthew Nelson
Daughter – Samantha Desman
Son – Austin Zajur
Grandmother – Claire Montgomery
Grandfather – Ed Buhl

Voiceover by Sam Reich
β€œJemberly Farms Jingle” by Danielle Ate the Sandwich

Director – Ryan Anthony Martin
Writer – Mike Trapp
Producer – Shane Crown
Production Coordinator – Francesca McLafferty
Editor – Sam Geer

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87 Responses

  1. Rob Johns says:

    I always thought hand turkeys were stupid.

    • Mc FruityBooty says:

      TurkeyLord112 noo it was a joke

    • Gavmaster Deluxe says:

      Legend has it that Rob never actually had a childhood…..He just slipped outta his momma’s shlooper a full grown man with none of the allure for the world like the rest of the children he knew growing up had. One would think that life would impair his development as he moved into his adult years, but it ACTUALLY DID. HE TRIED HIS BEST TO SNUFF OUT THE SPARK OF CHILDLIKE PURITY THAT ANYONE HELD ABOUT F*CKING HAND TURKEYS BY CALLING THEM STUPID. BUT WILL WE STAND DOWN? WILL WE SIMPLY ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN??? NAYYYY!!!!! NAY, I SAY!!!!!! A WAR MUST BE FOUGHT, AND IT IS THIS WAR WE SHALL WIN!!! ALL FOR HAND TURKEYS!!!! HAND TURKEYS FOR ALLLL!!!!!!!

    • Rob Johns says:

      Gavmaster Deluxe Bad Day?

    • Munira Wilson says:

      300th! Like. In 4 hours.

  2. Mr Not That Famous says:

    love the voice over guys “commercial” voice

  3. Ryan Zhang says:

    this was disturbing

  4. Anna Kuykendall says:

    This was very uncomfortable

  5. Giovannie edgar says:

    Now thats what i call a “handy job” πŸ–

  6. Viet Lee says:

    I came here for laughs, not hand nightmares O.O

    Make sure you all have a ton of mashed potatoes during Thanksgiving.

  7. UnitedRaccoon57 says:

    If hand turkeys were real

    Kindergarteners would rule the world

  8. Nitay A. says:

    Is this how vegans see us normal folk eating meat?

  9. MoochPlays says:

    I want to go back to the moment before I watched this to tell myself to avoid this video

  10. this little homie says:

    Jemberly farms hand turkey. What nightmare hath man wrought!

  11. LoquaciousLaners42 says:

    Large, medium, and presidential.

  12. Grace Motley says:

    Oh God…

  13. RustySpart0n says:

    That jingle killed me, im actually dead, it was painful

  14. grandmaster flexman says:

    This is vegan propaganda

  15. Jamie Josef says:

    Hamburger Helper

  16. Mr. Someone says:

    Damn and I was planning to get some sleep tonight 😭

  17. Kyle Law says:

    ya I wanna die

  18. James Giwa says:

    Turkey hand sizes: Large, Medium, Presidential.

    I’m fucking dead

  19. Andrew Ramlall says:

    “They live as Mother Nature intended”


  20. UnPhayzable says:

    That Turkey looks more deformed than Magic Johnson’s dick

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