The Rise of Skywalker – Why it Sucks

The Rise of Skywalker – Why it Sucks

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43 Responses

  1. weasel batches says:

    The random kiss between the two women at the end of the movie is just so funny to me because of how it represents Disney pandering instead of actually including a gay main character. Easier to edit out a two second scene than to lose profits in China.

  2. Online says:

    I feel that getting infinite money to make a trilogy of Star Wars movies and then not planning anything long term is the most incredible thing anyone has ever done. The sheer amount of bravery, the complete blindness, I can’t help but be amazed

    • LettucePrime says:

      guys neither of Lucas’ trilogies had a plan either

    • Matthew Iversen says:

      @Izzylove^_^ It’s not baffling when you can trace it all to being helmed by Kathleen Kennedy. She managed to scrounge ultimate creative control and let it all crumble around her and wishy-washy whiteboard brainstorming, multiple directors quitting, allowing JJ/Ryan to throw shit at walls, etc. If Disney Corp had the balls they could have decided to scrap Star-Wars’ing till they could get someone who could do it justice, but they let her finish the wrecking-ball job on it and just continue collecting the proceeds.

    • shknicks says:

      Abrams may have had a “plan” but there’s actually no shot he had any semblance of an ending in mind. This man just throws ideas out there and never follows through. Bruh just look at LOST and his entire filmography. Mystery box bull shite

    • TheDeathmail says:

      A part of me feels like they wanted to screw it up on purpose… their goal wasn’t to make a good sequel, but to free up Star Wars to any idea…

  3. Patterrz says:

    The Last Jedi was kinda funny and had potential to be saved by episode 9, but Rise of Skywalker is just sad. It ruined Star Wars a little for me as well

    • whalwing25 says:

      @Caio Marastoni that is not a valid argument for comparison between the two. You are talking about fiction here. None of the star wars movies have a reason to exist. That argument also doesn’t in any shape or form prove anything about the quality of one versus the other

    • Arekkusu Senpai says:

      @whalwing25 Ehh the dialogue only gets jarring on Attack of The Clones and it kinda makes sense since Anakin is a teenager trying his hardest to impress Padme, the rest of the movies had decent dialogue, and some of the more memeable ones are often characters roasting other characters.

    • whalwing25 says:

      @Arekkusu Senpai well no. How in the world are you going to watch those movies and not say they have some of the worst dialogue of all time? I mean the entire meme culture surrounding the prequels is BUILT on the fact that the dialogue is fucking terrible. On top of that the plot of all three is fucking bonkers and doesn’t make any sense. Don’t get me wrong, I can enjoy watching them but so many things in those movies are just so hard to fathom.

    • Bluehero10 says:

      @Caio Marastoni I agree. The sequel’s didn’t add any relevance or history to any part of the original or prequel trilogy. I think since the sequels came out we have questions than answers and none of them will ever be answered. Like wdym when you say somehow big papa palps has returned. It just shouldn’t have happend the fans made up a reason for palps returning, and don’t give me any BS about well if people can do it in legends why can’t they do it in movie’s. Well because if they do that then why IS REY FIGHTING PALPATINE INSTEAD OF LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE FORCE GHOST EVER… sorry little bit of a rant there that’s what I think.

    • Caio Marastoni says:

      ​@jacqueshark poorly handled is very different of having no need to exist… Sequels adds absolutely nothing relevant to the history.

  4. F.D Signifier says:

    Plus 500 points for sneaking Famous Amos in.

  5. Petirep says:

    A 5/10 still seems outrageously high for me, but I appreciate the detailed analysis. Your rewrites were all excellent

    • Reek says:

      ​@Jason Porter TROS made the impossible possible. I didn’t enjoy Palpatine in it. In the prequels he’s at least entertaining.

    • Jason Porter says:

      I agree, and I was truly shocked after all that he gave it a 5. It’s honestly a 3/10 for me with TLJ being a 7/10 and TFA being a 8/10 or something like that. TROS literally had nothing going for it except spectacle. Story and character have to come first, and this movie failed both.

  6. TheLonelyGoomba says:

    I’d rather a mediocre movie that at least logically followed the story from TLJ than whatever this was. Even if it was a bad movie at least it would feel like a more cohesive trilogy that actually amounted to something. This movie is so bad it retroactively makes the entire trilogy feel pointless.

    • Viper says:

      I swear I see you everywhere

    • TheHauntedKiwi says:

      @VJ BD George Lucas doesn’t know how space works.

    • TheHauntedKiwi says:

      @High So the First Order Strikes Back?

    • plustico says:

      @Some Random Person on the Internet Well actually The Force Awakens actively undid a bunch of creative decisions from the prequels, such as having no politics and the force being turned into something with rules to what JJ wanted the force to be like. It also, in an attempt to please fans by making itself a soft reboot, undid the ending of OT by making that victory a loss. Han Solo regressed as a character, Leia regressed as a character, and the implications that the Jedi would return and peace was restored was completely undone, as a way to make the movie feel as much as it could to the original movie. When you look at Lucas’s story treatments and what he has said he wanted the sequel trilogy to be, it would have progressed into a new story. Luke would be training Jedi, the remnants of the empire and criminal gangs would try and stop the Republic, and Leia would end up becoming the Supreme chancellor of the Republic by the end, ending the story from episode 1-9 properly. The Force Awaken undid a lot of what Lucas did very actively by pretending it didn’t exist. Yes it’s not an exact comparison but it is very close. TRoS’s creative decisions were influenced by the reactions to TLJ, just like TFA’s creative decisions were influenced by the reactions to the prequels.

    • Some Random Person on the Internet says:

      @plustico they did not deliberately take every opportunity to undo what had been done in the OT and prequels. This is an apples-to-oranges comparison.

  7. LimitedLemons24 says:

    Although I never saw Game of Thrones, I imagine that the feeling I got from this movie was very similar to those who watched that show for years, loved it, and then had to suffer through the final season and all of its glorious failures. I’m in a very similar camp w/ Marcus – I loved Force Awakens, meh on Last Jedi but respected the risks it took, and then realized how trashy this movie was going to be with its “return to status quo” fixation. And I consider myself to be pretty forgiving as a moviewatcher and not overly critical, especially on first viewing. But man, even I realized, in real time, just how messy this movie was.

    • Lucas Cáceres says:


    • tagus100 says:

      I binged-watched GoT from Jan-Apr 2019 in preparation for the final season. I fell in love with it and I can only feel for those that started watching in 2011 and stuck with it. I truly believe that one of the things the 2010s decade will be remembered for, is how Game of Thrones went from one of the best to one of the worst TV shows.

    • John says:

      Personally- GoT was worse. Yeah, the quality was going downhill for some time when S08E01 came out but contrary to SW it didn’t these fandom breaking moments, if someone quit over season 6 or 7 they were a huge minority. Star Wars had their bumps, fandom had been torn by toxicity for years. I personally hated The Force Awakens, it felt like a cheap copy of A New Hope but at least The Last Jedi seemed to make fun of a lot of the shit TFA set up. Than Rise of Skywalker came out and it was just… malicious ridicule. It’s a movie that you put on with friends, get drunk and make fun of.
      GoT was something more. A a lot worse, mainly, I think, since the fandom gave up on George to finish the story and the show was the only way we could get and ending. Star Wars is and eternal name. GoT was not.

    • Reek says:

      The GOT ending was way worse for me. I never got into the Star Wars sequels in the first place, while I was invested in GOT.
      I didn’t like The Force Awakens or the Last Jedi (though I also have much respect for the Last Jedi for being original, risky and trying to have actual themes). I had no interest in Rise of Skywalker, so I wasn’t very disappointed. Palpatine was my biggest disappointment; I had expected him to be far more entertaining.
      GOT season 8 genuinely shocked me. I should have seen the writing on the wall after season 7, but I still had high expectations.

    • Hammerhead 23 says:

      @Joey Jerry for years? Season6 of game of thrones was was arguably its best. Season 7 was far better than 8 too, even if it wasn’t close to GOT at its best. That’s not an accurate statement lol

  8. Coogan says:

    I really liked psycho Kylo losing his mind at the end of The Last Jedi. I was really looking forward to his descent into madness akin to Azula in The Last Airbender. Combo that with a relatable motivation of wanting to rewrite the status quo and you could have a fun villain story.

    • realtalk says:

      ATLA was all I could think about watching this. I’ve never watched a Star Wars movie in my life and when the vid described Kylo Ren’s character arc on betrayal and redemption, I was like, “oh they should’ve gone the Zuko route”. And when he talked about Rey proving Kylo’s worldview wrong instead of him just deciding to switch sides, I thought, “oh like how Korra does in LOK”. I just find it hilarious that a children’s show with a fraction of the budget (that had it’s own flaws, don’t get me wrong) managed to have a more satisfying conclusion and developed character arcs than this behemoth of a franchise

  9. Harpagio says:

    You missed one of the biggest problems right at the beginning. The opening crawl says that Palpatine broadcast a message to the universe saying that he’s back and he’s more awesome than ever. But then the entire opening sequence is Poe and Finn (and Klaud) are racing to deliver a spy report… that Palpatine came back.

    The entire opening is made completely pointless from the opening crawl.

    • VinylSolution says:

      not to mention that the message was broadcast only in Fortnite and nowhere else lol

    • jossmircruz says:

      Even funnier when you consider that the dead already spoke in Star Wars, since there have been force ghosts since the originals AND when you remember that Palpatine spoke… in a live Fornnite event… 🤦🏻‍♂️

    • Empire Toy Shop says:

      This was brought to JJs attention while they were making the movie and he yelled, “Quiet! I’m counting my money.”

    • ScaryHobbit says:

      Poe and Finn wouldn’t have had to race so hard for it if they just played Fortnite.

  10. Elijah Parks says:

    I loved all of the changes but most significantly the one about Ben reclaiming the name Skywalker. It makes so much more narrative sense that way and leaves a profound statement at the end of a 9 movie saga. It shows a more complex version of what being “good” truly means and even steps on the toes of a traditional Jedi, much in the way the Last Jedi upset a lot of that philosophy. I always thought Rey claiming that name was dumb. I laughed when I first saw it and the ret con with Ben just fits so perfectly

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