Beyond The Black Void – Watchbait
Mike, Jay, and Rich Evans have returned again to the black void. Their reason today? To talk about a new huge summer blockbuster movie? No. Quite the opposite. They was gonna talk about Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning 2: Dead Reckoning 1, BUT they thought… how many times can one see Tom Cruise do stints? No, this day Mike, Jay, and Rich have returned to the black void to talk about “Watchbait” the movie version of “Clickbait”. Trash that has overrun a once great institution like Tubi. And before you ask, no we wasn’t compensated by Tubi to promote these films. We were just browsing about and saw a trend. A trend of using certain words or phrases in a title to get one to click on their junk film to watch it, only to realize after a few minutes they made the worst mistake of their lives. This particular video wasn’t a Half in the Bag. Nor was it a re:View. Nor was it a Best of the Worst. I guess it could have been a “Talks About” video, but nah. We made a new show called “Beyond the Black Void” and if you ever see one of these again, it’s just Mike, Jay and Rich Evens talking about something of interest. In solidarity with the WGA and SAG/AFTRA strike we decided to talk about movies that in no way whatsoever could have possibly been made under any conceivable union agreement. In fact, I’d be shocked if one of these pictures weren’t some kind of nudie snuff film. Maybe that’s why Jay “downloaded all of them on his dark web server” whatever that means. And yes, it’s 100% true, we did just spring this whole thing on Rich Evans. I rang him up on my landline to tell him to come to the studio. Well, actually I left a message on his answering machine. He showed up coming from the gym where’s he’s done many power squats and asked me “What we shootin’ Mike?” and I tell him to sit down and shut up you shit-for-brains. He sits down, but there is an immediate squish sound. It would appear that Rich had soiled his large diaper. He claimed he didn’t know. He insisted he ONLY wears a diaper when he does power squats at the gym. 1. it helps stifle the sound of any accidental fart release, but also for… you know what. An accidental Hershey squirt. This is apparently what happened. Luckily a very large toddler had died outside our building and I was able to provide Rich Evans with replacement clothing. A lot went into this video. So please, enjoy.
the description really took me on a journey. mike is such a talented storyteller
His dementia is kicking in. Or maybe the delirium tremens.
Not reading allat
He could have left out Jay and Rich’s name, and you’d know it was him because he said “nudie”
Thanks for pointing it out. That’s straight up literature.
Lucky break with that very large toddler death
I enjoy that Mike has now roped Jay into the “reading lists of names to Rich” genre of videos.
Well, they all seem to have a lot of fun doing these, so more power to them… I guess?
Rich calling Shark Side of the Moon “Comfortably Dumb” was genius.
It was the wrong album, but still funny. lmao
Mike’s FTW after making a career of mocking Rich Evans is so wholesome.
@dainumomaybe he would have some up with a more relevant pun if he had Time.
When Mike Stoklasa takes a folded up piece of printer paper out of his pocket, you know you’re in for a good time.
And when it turns out it’s actually four pieces of paper you know it’s gonna be a classic.
Truly!
I actually like Rich’s idea for ‘Noah’s Shark’. I imagine Noah going “What the hell happened to my two unicorns?”.
No no, it wouldn’t be mysterious, it would be like the game Raft where he’s trying to protect some animals on one side of the boat and suddenly there’s a loud whinny and he runs over to see half a unicorn sticking out of the shark’s mouth. And he starts hitting it with a big stick yelling “take the donkeys, please anything but the unicorns!!” But it’s like a rally big boat so while he’s patching up one side he hears a Bigfoot roar from the other side and is like “Bartholemew, no!!!!!”
More tragic if it only eats one.
the unicorns are still hiding in the forest underwater
They could create animals, like Wes Anderson did for The Aquatic Life with Steve Zissou.
The amount of laughter Rich Evans expels in this video is inversely proportional to the amount of sorrow he’d experience if he was forced to watch these.
Great video. Made my day.
I love Mike’s new obsession of reading lists of titles on camera
“It happened again?!”
Like a list of sins against cinema or something.
Yeah, come to think of it, the black metal episode and this one are the better episodes lately.
from his boomer notebook
That’s the only video he make for years. All video is list video. Consume product.
I love Tubi. It reminds me of the early days of Netflix streaming, a Wild West of no budget garbage, conspiracy “documentaries”, and movies that are not as much art as they are evidence of a crime.
Recently they loaded up on the Italian giallo/horror category, a few of which are worth a watch for real.
Tubi and Peacock have my favorite obscure 80s anime. Peacock in particular has the first iteration of bubblegum crisis: bladerunner meets cop drama meets sailor moon the trifecta combination nobody wanted but works.
Tubi has angel cop, much much darker show but still very good adult animated show.
Yeah reminds me of dusty old vhs rental places with all kinds of weird obscure trashy movies to explore
as apposed to all that shit still on Netflix, Ancient Scampocalypse
Man, never heard of tubi before this video, and maybe I’m just a masochist but your description there really sold me
Jay’s hearty laugh is the closest we’ll get to hearing what a Hobbit’s laugh sounded like. Truly magical.
He is a vertically challenged coffin creeper
This is a format that deserves to stick. Between Rich calling Shark Side of the Moon “comfortably dumb”, the trailer that almost makes Exorcism at 60,000 Feet look unironically hilarious, and Jay’s reaction to the title of Amityville Backpack, the material they get out of terrible modern film trends would make for some great future episodes.