Everything Wrong With Free Guy In 18 Minutes Or Less

Everything Wrong With Free Guy In 18 Minutes Or Less

Outtakes are here: https://youtu.be/kCeiIULUhL4

Free Guy was a pretty delightful surprise in the hellscape that was 2021. But it still has sins, so we counted ’em.

Thursday: gambling sins.

Remember, no movie is without sin. Which movie’s sins should we count next?

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50 Responses

    • Glenn Davey says:

      This is probably your worst video in recent memory. You must watch movies with your eyes closed and your fingers in your ears to stretch out all these sins. At this point you’re just describing things and playing a “ding” WAV file after each sentence.

    • SnoHoBeau says:

      You missed the fact that the calendar in his apartment days count 1, 2, 3, 5. Where is the 4th of the month?

    • Damari Brackett says:

      Wait what how is this trending

    • Tyler Steensma says:

      1:01 there’s no 4th 😂

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  1. ShortHax says:

    I was quite disappointed to learn that the movie was in fact, not free. Quite possible the biggest scam since the Never Ending Story

  2. jmtcowboy says:

    “This script feels like it was written by somebody who had to ask their kids what a Fortnite is.” I almost fell out of my chair lmfao

  3. Igorowan says:

    0:25 Well Jeremy, you should go see E3 one of these days, where people absolutely lose their mind if the player character passes by a plant and it reacts instead of clipping through them. Only problem is, every single game is held to that standard, so time and manpower is allocated to silly stuff like a random NPC’s routine instead of actually make the game good.

    • Samur/Aye says:

      @Ben Willis “Oblivion was doing a version of all NPCs having a basic routine in 2006” – But they weren’t constantly being rendered when the player isn’t around…. jfc you can even see it when you fast travel and render lag cause npc’s to pop into existence like you said, that wouldn’t happen if they existed constantly just living their lives. Tip about game rendering, if a player can’t see it, then it doesn’t exist…. it’s a waste of processing power.

    • Ben Willis says:

      @Samur/Aye I don’t know what distance you could be away from an NPC in Oblivion for them to keep doing things but if you tell me that if you’re out of sight they’re not doing anything, I’ll take your word. However, isn’t an MMO different? If a player can fly past his window at any moment, could his routine be taking place? The more important part of my comment is that Guy is supposed to be different and special: perhaps the other NPCs don’t exist when players are around but he does (and other NPCs also exist when he’s around)

    • Samur/Aye says:

      @Ben Willis mmo’s generally work on the same principle, if no players are around, then nothing exists there, this is why things like terrain/object pop-in happens. The most modern ones use a kind of data streaming. … the world streams in (at the visual render limit) as you go. The most recent one that uses this I can think of is Star Citizen, 50 players on the server, if they are all on the same planet, then that’s technically the only planet that exists, in real time. Someone warps to another planet and that planet then exists, but just for them, until someone else enters the same area then it also exists for them. The same thing applies to a basic fantasy mmo, if no-one is near Bumfuque town, then Bumfuque town doesn’t exist. This is how devs “cheat” open world games so that they don’t melt your computer having to constantly process unnecessary rendering of landscapes and complicated npc routines. My PC doesn’t need to render what a million other players are upto across entire world size maps, it just needs to render what’s on your screen.

      I hope this makes sense. If not, the best example I could give would be behind the scenes look at Horizon Zero Dawn, they literally only render what’s directly in view…. the world behind the camera view point is literally just a white void, the world is rendered as the character moves around and turns.

    • keeganshigh says:

      ATOMIC SKIP.

  4. Lex Ruptor says:

    Have you played Skyrim? NPCs in Skyrim follow daily routines, they pop in after fast travel, but otherwise, for example there’s this Khajit Caravan that circles the map, they’re always there, and manually walk the whole map in like a circle. Yeah.

    • Lex Ruptor says:

      @Wublic Indecency Exactly

    • Amethyst says:

      @Lex Ruptor Yeah, carry out their routines while rendered. Guy, inside an isolated location, logically wouldn’t be rendered in most video game world rules. It’s like someone being inside their home in a hold, or being outside of Whiterun. Once you open Whiterun’s gates, the people inside spawn. Otherwise they aren’t actually there. So why isn’t Guy? That’s his argument.

    • Samur/Aye says:

      ” they’re always there, and manually walk the whole map in like a circle” – no they don’t because the map is never fully loaded. Only what you see is actually being rendered. Doesn’t anybody know how rendering works?

    • jason rosa says:

      @Amethyst There is a game called ARK Survival evolved, I guess you would consider the dinosaurs NPC, where you can do a “no hibernation” command and they will all stay spawned in whether you are nearby or not.

    • Who cares says:

      @gameing They are rendering only what you see, but that doesn’t mean anything. The routine is followed, the code is there.
      From the NPC character’s point of view, they are always there doing what they do. So yeah, it is process.
      If you walk out of the town, but leave a dragon or vampires behind, but don’t see it, someone will still get killed. When you return, you’ll see bodies.
      In Free Guy, he might not be rendered 24/7, but the code is there. The code of his room is there, code of everything around him is.
      And it’s more advanced. The idea is that players can visit even NPC’s bedroom. It’s all there. Him being an AI, he’s just more aware of it, builds up a memory.

  5. RialVestro says:

    Imagine thinking a port-a-potty is a Doctor Who Easter egg and giving a sin despite no actual TARDIS being anywhere in that shot. Even if there was a Police Box there that doesn’t mean it’s an intentional Doctor Who reference, Police Boxes were a real thing and do actually appear in other places besides Doctor Who.

  6. Elizaveta Sycheva says:

    The only thing I’m disappointed in is that they didn’t get Hugh Jackman to play Ryan’s “better version”… Such a missed opportunity….

    • NotUsingMyName says:

      yeah but if they did that the writing on deadpool 3 would just appear lazy and not so meta…

    • Magie Ma says:

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    • Lawful Edits says:

      @Magie Ma do they really think this works on people?

    • Samur/Aye says:

      @NotUsingMyName you say that as if the writing in Deadpool 1 and 2 wasn’t already lazy as fuck.

    • Ryan Vining says:

      Jeff Bridges would have been even better

  7. SchmickSloth says:

    We’re definitely gonna gloss over the fact Keys said to Millie about kissing “There’s not a button for that.” But proceeds to kiss Guy herself later.

  8. Moon Stars Show says:

    He calls Taika Hitler yet still hasn’t sinned Jojo Rabbit….

  9. FlesHBoX says:

    Interestingly, regarding the whole “daily lives that the player will never see”. While it is not actively simulated in world, one of the goals of the Quanta system in Star Citizen does include a baseline simulation of NPCs “daily routines” so to speak, happening in the background. NPCs who spawn in the world and interact with a player actually will retain their personality traits and defining characteristics. NPCs will travel the galaxy performing their tasks and impact the overall world and economy simulation. While it is true that their model and specific AI behaviors will not be simulated until a player comes within a specific range of them, to some extent, they will exist and have a “life” that includes activities with other NPCs that will shape them. Entire scenarios with, for instance, a cargo hauler getting hijacked by pirates will be able to play out without any player being within range of that happening.

    Also, it’s a fairly big plot point that the backend simulation of the game in the movie was built on a “life simulator” seeking to produce a true AI, so the idea that these NPCs would have daily lives being actively simulated actually makes perfect sense within the film’s narrative.

    • GHOSTLY_MOSTLY says:

      That game came out yet?

    • FlesHBoX says:

      @GHOSTLY_MOSTLY ish? It is still alpha, but is fully playable with some game loops implemented (at least partially) and others not yet implemented.

      Right now the 3.15 patch is in open PTU testing (open to all backers) and should release within the week, which fundamentally changes health and healing (adding medical gameplay tier 0), as well as a major overhaul to how inventory works (items are no longer stored in an infinite bag of holding from wherever you are, and are now tied to a location, so you have to go to that location to access it.

      This means that if your ship blows up, the inventory in that ship is “lost” though apparently it will now drop a crate with that inventory in it, so you (or another player) can get that inventory back if you can make it back to where the ship was. Likewise, if you die, you have to get back to your corpse to recover your stuff (or other players can loot it as well).

      In 3.14 they updated the last planet in the current Stanton system to be more than just a sphere with a texture. A gas giant planet that is actual volumetric clouds, and a floating city, and is, quite frankly, breathtaking to visit (and will destroy your graphics card). With 3.15.1 they are bringing the planetary cloud tech used for Crusader to the planet Microtech, and improving performance of the volumetric clouds. Honestly, SC’s planets are the best in the industry. They are amazing places, and they are still working on improving them with things like rivers and roads, etc…

      Like in my OP, they are working on the backend quanta simulation, and have kicked off work on “server meshing” which will ultimately mean a higher player cap per “server” and better server performance, but that is still a bit out.

      If you are interested, there will be a free fly from the 19th to the 1st for the Intergalactic Aerospace Expo (an in universe trade show where manufacturers show off their stuff) and you can rent almost every ship in the game for free (you don’t even need a game package to play for the duration). That being said, the game is FAR from optimized, has lots of bugs (it is an alpha afterall) and performance can be really bad, depending on where you are and what kind of system you play on. Having the game on an SSD is basically a requirement to avoid constant stuttering as the game streams tons of content as you move around.

      If you ARE interested though, and don’t already have an account, you can use a referral code when you sign up for the free fly event, and if you end up buying a game package (or spending $40, though without a game package you can’t actually play during non-free fly events) you get 5000 UEC (credits) and right now until the end of the month, any referral gets a free MPUV-ic Argo Cargo snub ship with lifetime insurance. There is a referral code randomizer that you can use, or you can find a content creator’s code to use… or you could use mine if you’re feeling generous 🙂 https://robertsspaceindustries.com/enlist?referral=STAR-C2GF-TLWR

      If you want to use a random referral the randomizer is http://gorefer.me

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