Morbius – Yup, It’s Terrible

Morbius – Yup, It’s Terrible

So… Morbius was awful. But hey, at least you get to watch me tear it a new one.

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38 Responses

  1. AychazYT says:

    You know it’s gonna suck when a movie about vampires can’t even show actual blood

    • corrodedmonkee says:

      @TheGreaterGood80 It’s going to look like a masterpiece compared to Disney Blade.

    • Nebula Compositions says:

      Then it’s worse than I thought.

    • Cyanide says:

      And this is whats going to happen with the new Blade movie, because thats already confirmed to have a PG13 rating. I had a feeling it wasnt going to be all that good being a part of the MCU for one, and havign Ali as the titular character, but that just sealed it that its going to be a shit movie.

    • ShadowEno says:

      Maybe he is a vampire who can`t stand sight of blood, he might faint.

    • josh butler says:

      At least they don’t sparkle.

  2. Unknown Variable says:

    Truly compelling – a struggle of a vampire trying to survive in a world where nobody bleeds. How metaphorical

  3. joe6167 says:

    this is the next phase of our culture: watching reviews about how bad everything is. I don’t care if I never step inside another movie theatre ever again…

    • Coss Logan says:

      Don’t forget games, Worth a Buy is a good channel for that.

    • TDATA says:

      @JSully Wasn’t the hottest of trash; first and third act were pretty terrible, of No Way Home, it had one MAJOR MOVIE BREAKING CONTINUITY PLOT HOLE (time travel, multi-verse bullshit aside) and the whole movie literally revolves around, is the spell. Like they forgot the SPECIFIC stipulations of the spell trigger at the end and it just annoyed me. I’m tired of movies where Good Guy has to fix the mess he created out of selfishness. Mr. Nobody or whatever that not-John-Wick movie was, also had that giant logic fart.

    • DawnShard says:

      @OddityDK understandable. I hardly ever watch movies in theaters anymore. I did watch No Way Home, and luckily that one did good.

    • TDATA says:

      @Planet Schlock The high seas for me as well. And if I like it, I’ll buy it. But you got to test those waters first. On the SS NORD.

    • Planet Schlock says:

      I haven’t seen a movie in the theaters since 2009 and have zero plans of ever doing so again. I don’t pay for any streaming services either because fuck that

  4. Golden Ninja 50 says:

    Thank you for making this, just like Morbius, this is truly the review.

  5. Kerr Avon says:

    “He’s like your average vegan, only less preachy.”

    I had to stop and howl with laughter at that one, I have a skinny, emaciated vegan nephew who looks (and preaches) exactly like that.

  6. Dublin O’Seven says:

    A role that requires you to suck, and you exceed expectations.

  7. Sir Chromium Downs says:

    “He’s like your typical vegan, only less preachy.” CD

    Perfect synopsis.

  8. IMO Critic says:

    I think this would have been a far more interesting story:

    Morbius and Mylo only have months to live. In his arrogance and desire to help his friend, Morbius quickly fashions enough of a cure for one person, selflessly gives the cure to Mylo (without testing it properly because time is against them) and unintentionally causes this evil transformation in his friend. Mylo vanishes and Morbius is left alone.
    Weeks later, Morbius (in much worse condition) sees these bloodless corpses showing up across New York city and finds out that it’s Mylo, drunk with power and rage.
    Morbius then takes it upon himself to try and stop his monstrous creation.
    He manages another cure with lessened effects but still suffers the blood lust… he literally makes himself this way to save everyone else, regardless of his own life. He drinks animal blood to survive.
    The problem is that Mylo is physically stronger because of the more potent cure he was given.
    Morbius fights Mylo but gets battered in the first fight and *insert good friend character here* is fatally hurt in the crossfire.
    Morbius then realises it’s not the cure that made Mylo stronger, it’s the human blood he’s been drinking.
    Morbius needs real human blood to increase his strength.
    *insert friend character here* offers their own blood since they are dying anyway (mirroring Morbius saving Mylo but through selflessness and sacrifice, not impatience and arrogance). Morbius reluctantly accepts and drains the friend, tears flowing as the blood does.
    Morbius, now fully charged, beats Mylo because of course he does, but the movie ends teasing his villainous future, since he’s has now had human blood.
    Maybe while a Morbius narration monologues about saving the city, more drained corpses are showing up but it’s never clarified who’s responsible, and Morbius is smiling, more content and healthier looking than before.

    Oh yeah and R RATED all the way!

    Just an idea. Came up with it in a few minutes. Still better than the movie.

    • Paintings and animals says:

      Ok well they have to stick to the comics. Or else marvel fans would have a fit. Marvel fans are never happy

    • telepathicdragon says:

      A little cheesy after the halfway point but i like it overall. The movie couldn’t decide what it wanted to be so we ended up with some kind of weird horror movie with some action slapped in as a distraction as if their horror angle fell apart.

    • Sally Diver says:

      Keep Milo stronger than morbius, but let Morbius use his intellect or inside knowledge (since he invented the cure) to overcome Milo.

    • Jim Toujo says:

      Shhhhhhhh stop giving them ideas pls 🤫🤫

  9. Shmuffy says:

    “He’s like your average vegan just less preachy” had me dead

    • GroovyMrSchneebly says:

      @Vikteur As a vegan for almost 1 and a half years, vegetarian for 8 years, I agree with you completely. I’ve come across many mad meatheads since then.

    • Vikteur says:

      Not a vegan but I sure as hell have heard more butthurt meat eaters say how damn annoying vegans are than vegans telling me that my choice to eat meat is bad.
      It’s gotten to a point where I think about going vegan just so I don’t get associated with those neckbeards hating on vegans just by reflex

  10. NL Paradox says:

    Honestly Drinker, I’m surprised you didn’t bring up how Marvel seems to love turning former Doctors into villains in their movies/series.

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